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Chapter Seventeen
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Iopen my eyes andblink against the bright sun pouring in through the blinds.
I don’t have to look to know that Alec is gone. I can feel it. I can feel it in the lack of warmth in the room and by the way his smell barely lingers. Almost as if he was never here.
But my body knows better.
I stretch, my muscles deliciously sore. And while my head knows we made a mistake, I can’t quite seem to get my heart to agree.
I didn’t intend to sleep with Alec once, let alone three times. I didn’t set out to betray my best friend. And I certainly never wanted to overcomplicate an already complicated situation. And yet, that’s exactly what I did.
I want to regret it.
But I can’t.
How could I? How could I ever bring myself to regret a single moment spent with Alec?
I may know that what we did was wrong, but it doesn’t change how incredible it was. How Alec moved across my body like it was made for him. Because maybe it was. Maybe my body was made for him like my heart was made to love him.
And yet knowing all this doesn’t change the facts.
Alec is my best friend’s ex-boyfriend. And she loved him... Once upon a time. And even if Lu wasn’t a factor, there’s no way we can make this work. Yet, isn’t that the very hope I was holding onto last night as we lay in each other’s arms? That one day wecouldmake it work.
The thought of Lulu has my head spinning in an entirely different direction.
I have to tell her. A kiss was one thing, but this? I can’t keep this kind of secret from her. Can I?
I told Alec I was going to tell her. And I know I need to. But it’s not like knowing it makes it any easier to do.
Rolling to the side, I notice that Sophie’s bed is still made. Realizing she must have stayed with her boyfriend last night, which isn’t uncommon, I reach for my cell phone on my bedside table, pausing when a folded piece of paper catches my eye.
Grabbing the paper instead of my phone, I unfold it, instantly recognizing Alec’s handwriting scribbled across the front.
Hope,
I woke up this morning with the overwhelming need to stay. Which is exactly why I left. I knew if you opened those beautiful eyes of yours and looked at me, I’d never be able to leave.
I already know you’re overthinking what happened last night.Don’t.It was hands down the best night of my life.
I know you say we can’t be together, but I disagree. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But someday. Someday you will be mine and I will be yours and all will be right with the world.
Wait for me...
All my love,
Alec
I re-read the letter over and over, trying to fully digest what he’s asking.
He wants me to wait for him... And even though the thought seems absurd, isn’t that what I’ve basically been doing since the day I met him?
Folding the piece of paper back up, I drop it into the top drawer of my nightstand before grabbing my phone. I stare at the home screen for several long moments, not sure what to do.
Do I call Alec? And if so, what would I say?
Do I call Lulu? Tell her everything and pray that she doesn’t hate me for the rest of my life.
