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Do I call my mom and tell her that I made a horrible mistake, but I want to make it over and over again because being with Alec was like being alive for the first time in my twenty years on this earth?
My mind spins in a million different directions. How can something feel so right yet so wrong at the same time?
My phone buzzes in my hand, startling me to the point that I drop it onto the blanket and have to sort through the thick comforter to find it again.
When I see Lulu’s name flashing across the screen, it’s as if the universe is telling me what I already know.
I have to tell her...
“Hello.” My voice sounds heavy with sleep.
“Hey, did I wake you?”
“No, I’m awake.” I clear my throat and push up in bed.
“You sure? Because it sounds like you’re half asleep.”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
“Well in that case, thanks for calling me back yesterday, bitch.” She laughs.
“Sorry. I got... busy.”
“Busy with what?”
“Well, erm...” I struggle with how to tell her. “Alec showed up here,” I admit on a quick breath.
“Wait. What?” I hear the confusion in her voice.
“Alec. He showed up here yesterday,” I repeat much slower this time.
“Why the hell is he in New York?”
“He’s here with a professor. Something about meeting with some editors fromVanity Fair.”
“And he came to see you?”
“He did.” I clear my throat again.
“Well, what did he want?” She seems annoyed that she has to ask and the nervous quell in my stomach only intensifies.
“To see me, I guess.”
“Why are you being so vague?”
“I’m not. That’s why he came. He said he was in New York for the night, and since I live only a couple hours outside of the city, he thought he’d come see me.”
“But why?”
“What do you mean why? You know Alec and I are still friends.”
She falls silent for a long moment before finally asking, “How did he look?”
“Really good,” I answer honestly. “Though I’m not sure that was the answer you wanted me to give you.”
“Am I that transparent?” She snorts.
“Maybe just a little.” I pull in a deep breath, preparing to say five words I never dreamt I would be saying to my best friend—I slept with your ex-boyfriend.
