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My cheeks prickle with heat, and I bite back the feeling of embarrassment creeping through me. It’s true. I’ve avoided Darsan since the day he stood outside the throne room, but I don’t think I can face him before I leave. Too many emotions bubble up at the thought, and I’m already overwhelmed with my impending departure.
I can’t handle having to say goodbye.
“That’s not true,” I lie terribly. “I just haven’t seen him around lately.”
She looks at me with her lips pursed, clearly unconvinced, and I throw my hands up.
“What do you expect me to do, Liz? Nothing he or I can do will change anything,” I assure her. “It certainly won’t make things easier.”
A beat of silence passes between us before she sighs. “You’re right. It won’t, but it will at least bring you both closure.”
“Well, I disagree,” I huff. If anything, seeing Darsan will only make my departure sting that much more. The last thing I want while I’m walking down to the aisle to my future husband is to be pining for someone else. “I think it’s best that we stay away from each other.”
We walk in silence, the padding of our footsteps echoing down the empty stretch of hallway, while my mind roams a thousand miles away as I imagine what Ulleh’s castle will look like. I’ve never seen another castle, and my imagination runs rampant with fantasies. Will it have impressive hallways filled with treasures they’ve robbed from other kingdoms? Will the walls be made from the same stone as ours, or something more expensive, like marble? Will there be a castle at all?
Lizette and I make a left at the end of the corridor and head for a stairwell leading to the main floor. She waits until we reach the bottom before attempting conversation again.
“How are you feeling?” she asks, strolling effortlessly along beside me. “Less nervous than before?”
“Morenervous than before,” I say with a nervous chuckle, not keen to lie to her again. There’s no point. She knows me better than anyone else since my mother passed. “I’m sure it’ll only get worse.”
She throws me a sympathetic smile and nudges me playfully with her elbow. “If you want, I can see if there are enough ingredients to draw up a calming potion. That’ll surely soothe your nerves.”
As skilled as I am with potions, there’s no one quite as good as Lizette. She’s studied every spell book in the castle enough to regurgitate them entirely, and she can conjure a potion for anything. The idea is tempting, because my nerves have turned to acid in my stomach, but I shake my head. What little ingredients I have left I want to save for the trip to Ulleh. I’m sure I’ll need them more when I get there, and I don’t know if I’ll have access to ingredients on foreign soil.
I glance over and her mouth dips into a frown.
“Save it for when I really need it,” I say, returning her elbow nudge.
She starts to smile, but the gesture quickly evaporates, her eyes bulging. “Like right now?”
I turn to look down the hallway and see a knight with flaming red hair heading straight for us. He walks with a smooth, agile gate as the lantern light plays off his armor, his eyes fixed on me as he approaches.
“Darsan,” I whisper, my heart seizing in my chest.
So much for avoiding him.
We come to a halt, only a few feet between us, and as his eyes study my face, my heartbeat picks up speed.
“Princess,” he says before his gaze bounces to Lizette, and he nods a greeting in her direction. His eyes slide back to mine, and he clears his throat. “Can I have a word?”
My mouth opens, but I hesitate. I’m reluctant to be alone with him. I’m afraid of how badly I’ll want to stay, but I’m curious to know his thoughts, his feelings. Is he as torn up about the situation as I am? Or is he content to move on after saying goodbye?
Ignoring my reluctance, I nod. “Of course.”
His eyes shift between Liz and me before he clears his throat again softly. “Alone would be preferable.”
A knot forms in the pit of my stomach and I turn to Lizette. I can tell by the tension in her lips that she’s trying not to smile, and she nods curtly in response. “I’ll wait for you in the tombs, Princess.”
For a second, I want to stop her, beg her not to go. If she’s present for the conversation, it’s bound to be quick and to the point, but if she leaves us alone, I’ll be forced to face the bitter truth of our broken relationship. I’ll have to address the feelings I’ve been shoving down. I’m worried I’ll dissolve into tears as the weight of this week threatens to suffocate me.
But it looks like there’s no way out of it.
“Thank you, Liz.”. She slips past us, her dress dancing along behind her, and I wait until she’s out of earshot. “What is it, Darsan?”
He throws a look over his shoulder to check Lizette’s progress and looks over my head to survey the hallway behind me.
“Not here,” he says, dropping his voice. “Come with me.”
