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It was about everything in between.
It was about him fuckinglisteningto me, and not treating me like I was made of glass, and not downplaying my feelings. It was about him not seeing me as some sort of damaged goods and still wanting me.
And… yes, the dick had been as immaculate as he’d teased.
So I rejected the idea that being drawn to him had anything to do withfragility.
It was the opposite, really.
I was giving in to it because I knew I had the strength not to crumble when he did, inevitably, leave. Would it be rough initially? Yeah, probably so.
But I had to believe I’d be grateful for the memories.
Just like with my father.
Just like with Tali.
Now that most of the day was gone, the clubhouse was full of people and Ozias had decided to fire up the grill. Lockdown meant that we had more than usual on site, including our surviving OGs, which meant things were about to turn into an event.
I hunted Onyx down in his room to pull him into the mix.
He was more subdued than usual but warmed up quickly enough. I could tell he was worried about something though.
“Whatever’s happening in your head, tuck it away until tomorrow,” I insisted, leaving him in the main room with Teo at the pool table to track down my mother.
A plate of food would probably perk himrightup.
“Hey,” I greeted her in the kitchen, with a kiss on the cheek. “I have an urgent request for a little taste of something from your stove,” I told her.
“Lil girl, you know the rules,” she scolded, smacking my hand with a silicon spoon.
“It’s not for me, it’s for Onyx,” I whined, rubbing the spot where she’d hit me. I rolled my eyes when her expression immediately changed and she reached for a sectioned Styrofoam bowl.
“Grab me a corn muffin from over there,” she directed, already spooning greens into one side of the bowl, then moving to the fridge to put potato salad in the other. I brought her the cornbread and then tried to take the bowl from her, but she smacked me again, then grabbed a plastic fork. “Where is he with those arms?”
“I hope you know this is unacceptable,” I told her, laughing as I led her out to the main room. As I’d hoped, he was already embroiled in conversation with the other guys in there and I turned to my mother to point him out.
Except… something was wrong.
“You okay, Mama?” I asked, stepping backward to where she’d stopped in the doorway, her expression inscrutable.
She blinked, looking at me. “That tattoo he has; do you know what that is?”
I raised an eyebrow. “… doyou?”
“I know it’s a mark of something dangerous.” She nodded, and I frowned, confused by the shift. I’d only seen my mother shaken up a handful of times and I’d seen herscaredeven less than that.
Which hadmeconcerned.
“Mama, he’salwayshad it,” I explained, as a weird feeling swept over me. “Why is it a problem now?”
“Well it’smyfirst time seeing it, so I don’t know what you’re expecting from me,” she snapped, puzzling me even more. She kept glancing at him, backing away like she thought he was going to sprout another damn head.
“I… want you to keep the same energy you’ve always had about him and help me perk his ass up,” I explained, grabbing her free hand to keep her still and calm her down.
She pulled away from me, shaking her head. “You stay away from him, you hear me? And anybody else with a mark like that,” she demanded, jabbing a finger in his direction. “And you keep him the hell away from me.”
With that, she turned and went back down the hall, dumping the bowl of food in a trash can as she passed.
