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Instead of going back to my computer, I got up and got dressed.
Iwasgoing out.
To talk to the person who probably had themostinsight on finally coming to this place of being…settled.
My sister.
* * *
“Don’t just stareat me.Say something,” I insisted, jabbing Alicia in the thigh.
When she still said nothing, I looked to Loren, who’d already been at the compound when I arrived, and insisted on being part of the conversation.
Which was fine.
She was practically family too.
“Good for you,” were Loren’s words, after she’d side-eyed Alicia for still sitting there, stunned. “You know, it took Alicia a long ass time to get to this point of like… just being normal. Mostly normal. She still gives killer vibes sometimes.”
“I’m a bodyguard,” Alicia stammered, finally speaking up. “It’s literally my job—Ihaveto look like I might kill a motherfucker.”
“Duh bitch, but I’m saying I thought you might killme.You were scary.”
“And yet, you still tried to get my panties,” Alicia countered.
“Correction—I was trying to get you takemypanties. The aggressive femme vibe was strong with you, and I was horny and pregnant.Excuse mefor wanting the strap, damn.”
“Can we focus onmyproblem right now?” I interrupted. If I didn’t already know this entire story, maybe I’d be tuned in, but right now I needed help.”
Alicia looked to me, staring for a long moment before her lips turned up in a smile. “You don’thavea problem, little sister. Well… let me rephrase—this is just the dilemma for people like us. Do you think I’m not always concerned something might go wrong?”
“You are?”
“I hired a secret protection detail for you, Dosh. You tell me,” she laughed. “In seriousness, though… you just need time. Isaiah coming back into your life is a big change, and it’s only been… what, like two months? You’vejustpopped the cork on this thing—it’s gotta have time to breathe.”
I sighed. “Fine. I get that. But this feeling… this anxiety, and paranoia… itcan’tbe normal! Like, it’s literally making me sick.”
“That’s too much, baby girl,” Loren chimed, sipping from her wine. “Speaking of popping corks… is that nigga not popping yours? That’s a great way to relax.”
“We’ve been doing itso much,” I laughed, shaking my head. “He came to my place smelling like skunks earlier, and I still wanted him. And I’mstillstressed. And still horny,” I said, crossing my arms over my sore breasts. Sex couldn’t be the problem when I was sitting hereachingto be touched again already.”
Loren put her glass down, eyebrow raised. “Hmm. Hunching like rabbits. Stressed. Sick. Sensitive to smell…. Girl, you’re pregnant.”
Alicia about choked onherwine as I shook my head.
“That’s not even possible.”
“Says who?” Loren inquired. “You’re talking about that tubal they did on y’all? Alicia is getting hers reversed.”
“What?!” Alicia and I exclaimed, at the same time—maybe for different reasons.
“I haven’t decided on that yet, and we don’t even know for sure!”
“Which is why we’re speaking it into the atmosphere,” Loren shrugged. “For all we know, it could’ve reverseditself,if they just tied them instead of more severe methods. Y’all were young. It happens.”
“But… I…what?” I said, my heart racing now. “I thought it was…permanent.Like…permanent.”
Loren smirked. “Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t,” she replied. “I’m just saying that it’s really notimpossiblethat you’re pregnant.” She shook her head. “You young girls always think you just won’t get pregnant cause youthink so. I had a client who had her period timed down to thehourit was gonna start. Guess what?Pregnant.Cause she was fucking. Like you were fucking. Raw.”
