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Jesus, my head feels like it’s been run over by a steam train, and my mouth feels like I’ve been sucking on cotton balls.
I rapidly blink several times, trying to adjust. Daylight is fading, but the bright lights of the city let enough light through the window, allowing me to see I’m in my apartment. I glance around, noticing the bottle of water next to me. I grab it and drink half of it down. The alcohol fuels my confusion. How the hell did I get home?
I was at the cemetery drinking… that’s it, that’s all I remember.
I check my watch. Damn it, I’m late for dinner.
I stumble off the sofa and head to the kitchen counter, where my keys and phone are lying.
“Shit.”
Checking my phone, I have a dozen texts and around twenty missed calls––Lex, Kill, Connor, Ma… I missed dinner with the family, I’m never going to hear the end of this.
Just as I head to the kitchen to make a vat of coffee, my phone rings again. Glancing down, I answer it before I convince myself ignoring it is the safe option.
“Lex, before you yell at me, I’m sorry, I just––”
“Save it, Ronan, just open your damn door and let me in.”
She hangs up before I have a chance to respond. I throw my phone back on the counter as she bangs on the door.
I take a deep breath and go let her in.
She storms past me, Connor hot on her heels. He looks frustrated, and Alex, she looks downright enraged.
“Ronan, I get that you’re having a hard time right now, I get that you’re on a one-man rampage to avenge Rory, but blowing off dinner… really? You promised you would be there, you promised that you would put all this to one side for one goddamn night and spend it with us. I can’t believe you blew us off.”
I look to Connor for some assistance, but he just shrugs his shoulders as he walks past us both to sit on the couch. He leans back, throwing his arms across the back and smirks at me.
I shake my head and roll my eyes at him before turning back to Alex.
“I’m sorry, Lex, I didn’t intend to blow off dinner, time just kind of got away from me.”
I watch her, waiting for something, anything, but her anger subsides, and she just looks sad, disappointed even, and I feel a wave of shame run through me.
I scrub my hands over my face and take a seat on one of the stools by the kitchen counter.
I look up just as Alex sits next to Connor. He pulls her to him, kissing the side of her head.
I’m about to do something I’m not comfortable with, but she deserves some truth, they both do.
“I was at the cemetery.”
They both look over at me, and neither says anything, so I continue.
“I was drinking… I didn’t blow off dinner intentionally. I got so drunk; I don’t even know how I got home. I woke on the couch right before you called.”
“Brother, you gotta let us in, man. We’re all worried about you. If you’d called, we would have come with you. You wouldn’t have had to go alone.” He gets up from the couch and walks to the counter, stopping in front of me. He places his hands on my shoulders then pulls me in for a hug.
“We miss him too, Ronan, but we know that you and he had some sort of connection, we know that his loss is hitting you harder than the rest of us. But you know you don’t have to do this alone though, right? We’re here, any time.”
I swallow, unable to form any words, blinking back tears I can feel forming. I go to shove past Connor, but he grips my shoulder tighter, just as Alex steps in my line of escape.
She puts her hand on my arm and squeezes, leaning in and kissing me on the cheek.
“I’ll make us some coffee, and you boys can chat, but maybe after have a shower though, Ronan, yeah? Because you smell like whiskey.”
Both her and Connor laugh as she rounds the counter to make coffee.
