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“He singled you out and taught you that it was solely your job to protect us, but it’s not. We’re a family… we protect each other. He could have called any one of us that night, but he didn’t, because he didn’t think we were capable of doing what was needed.”
Liv hasn’t spoke at all, she’s just sat next to me the entire time, holding on to me. I have no idea how she feels, or what she’s thinking. I don’t know if I’m driving her away, but I’m not finished with my truth.
“Rory is dead because of me.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? You didn’t kill him, Liam did.”
“I should have killed Liam years ago.” I hear Liv inhale a sharp breath, but I need to keep going, I have to get this out before I lose my nerve.
“There were so may rumours when we were growing up about him––I told you about that Cora girl, the one he raped and killed. Not killing him then was a mistake, but he was family, and I wanted to believe that he couldn’t do something like that.
“A year later, there were rumours circulating in the Syndicate of him doing it again, only this time, the woman survived. I asked him if it was true and he denied it, said people were trying to cause trouble for him.”
I feel Liv stand and walk away. My breathing stops and my heart races as I watch her walk towards the car. My demon begins to get restless and I start to panic. Killian turns my face back to him.
“Breathe, brother, you’re hyperventilating. Keep your eyes on mine, breathe with me. Slow breaths, in and out. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.”
My breathing returns and my heart starts to slow. I feel myself starting to calm. Shock radiates through me as she sits back down next to me. Smiling, she hands me a bottle of water. I stare at the bottle, then back to her. She came back… she only went to grab me water.
“Liv…”
“Take a minute to breathe and have some water. I’m staying right here, okay.” It’s not a question, she’s telling me she’s staying, and I feel the darkness subside.
“I found the girl, asked her if it was true, she told me that she had made a mistake and it wasn’t Liam, she said it was some other guy, said that she had accused Liam because she’d seen him in the club that night and she was confused from the alcohol.
“She was very convincing, and I had no reason not to believe her. There were so many rumours over the years, but we lived in New York by then, and with him still in Ireland, it was hard to prove anything. If anybody knew the truth, they weren’t willing to tell us.”
“Brother, I don’t understand why you think Rory’s death is your fault.”
“There were so many rumours. How could they not be true? But when I talked to Da, he said that Liam was family and that he didn’t believe it. But after Da died, the rumours were more frequent. I couldn’t prove it, so I put the message out there that unless anyone could or would prove them then I’d kill anyone spreading them. I should have trusted my gut. If I had, Rory would be alive.”
“You’re spiralling, brother. You may think we don’t know you, but you’d be wrong. We may not know you as well as Rory did, but we do know you. Killing Liam was never an option to you without a valid reason, and rumours without proof are not valid, especially when it involves blood.
“Rory’s death is not on you. Da’s and Aoife’s deaths are not on you. Because if you think that, then they are just as much our fault. We failed just as much as you did. We’re family Ronan, a unit.
“Now, are we going to make the fucker pay for Rory’s death? Absolutely. Are we going to make him pay for every rumour you’ve ever heard? Of course. And are we going to do it as a family? Without a fucking shadow of a doubt.”
He places his forehead on mine and our eyes fix on one another.
“What I do know is that we failed you, but we won’t fail you again. I won’t fail you again.”
Chapter 30
Liv
I’m exhausted and still hungover. Killian and I stayed with Ronan at the cemetery for another hour before finally getting him home.
I’d snuck out, leaving them together in Ronan’s apartment, thinking that after the revelations of the morning that they wouldn’t want me around for Christmas.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
When I’d walked back into my apartment, the girls––thankfully––had gone, but not before leaving me a note on the fridge, telling me they would see me at Kilian’s tonight and were looking forward to spending Christmas with me.
Grabbing a bottle of water, I decide to take a bath just as my phone alerts me to a message.
Ronan
Where did you go?
