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7
LIAM
The next morning,I’m woken by Ella screaming and charging around the house. After half an hour trying to ignore the noise, I give up and head downstairs. An apologetic looking Cerys almost bumps into me as I walk into the lounge.
“What’s going on?” I ask. “It’s six a.m.”
“She’s excited about Christmas. Last night, I promised Ella I’d take her to see Santa today. Big mistake.”
Ella walks in, wrapped up in her blue puffed jacket and scarf, one shoe on and the other in her hand.
“Ella, the shops aren’t open yet,” her mum says firmly.
“Yeah, Santa’s still in bed like sensible people,” I mutter.
“Sorry, Liam,” says Cerys. “Do you want a coffee?”
I huff. “No, can you keep her quiet? I’m going back to bed. I didn’t sleep well.”
Cerys can hardly meet my eyes, which annoys me. After yesterday’s kiss, she avoided being alone with me all evening; and every time I was near, she spent a lot of time studying her fingers or shoes. That coupled with frequent Honey texts arriving in the early hours of this morning have added up to a shit start to the day.
Does Honey have a sixth sense and know I kissed another woman? If I speak to Honey, all the crap caused by her screwing around with another guy will flood back in again. We’re over. I don’t want to be with someone who’ll break my heart.
Now my fragile ego is dented by an old family friend kissing and then rejecting me. But her situation is as complicated, and we’re both living in a place that doesn’t belong to either of us. Weird situation all round.
Cerys busies herself making coffee despite the fact I said no, and her hand trembles as she pulls a mug from the cupboard. We need to talk about this. I look between Cerys and her pouting daughter. Maybe not now. Without another word, I climb back upstairs to bed.
When I reappear a few hours later, a blue mug filled with cold coffee is set in the middle of the kitchen table. Ella and Cerys are still here, wrapping Christmas gifts in the lounge although Ella is more interested in the already wrapped ones under the tree. Cerys kneels on the floor, eyes bright as she happily gift-wraps her pile of gifts inside paper covered with Santas and reindeer. I watch for a few moments, unsure what the fuck to do about the situation.
“Is Santa still waiting?” I ask.
Cerys frowns at me as Ella jumps up and starts dancing round the room again. “Thanks, Liam. The bus doesn’t leave for another hour.”
“Are you going out for long?” I ask.
“A few hours.”
“I’ll drop you into town.” If she’s in the car with me, we’llhaveto talk but Cerys takes the opposite meaning.
“Wanting to get rid of us?” asks Cerys.
Her expression is loaded. I never noticed how pale she looks, her face lined by tiredness, and guilt over my anger with her seeps in.
“No, but if you’re not talking to me, that doesn’t matter, does it?”
Cerys gathers up the paper and tape. “We should talk but later.” She indicates Ella. “I’m awkward enough living here without...”
I wait for her words, to see how she describes this. “Without…?”
She takes a short breath before turning her face to me. “Without kissing the engaged rock star who’s looking for a bit of fun.”
Her words stun. “What?”
“I’m not naive, Liam.” She walks past with the wrapping paper tucked under her arm. “Thank you for your offer to take us into town, I’ll find my coat.”
This woman’s strength comes from the ability to shut down her emotions. My weakness is that I never can.
* * *
