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“How I feel about Fin does not matter in the end,” she said. “My brother will never let me be with him. He will auction me off to the highest bidder, like a cow. He will sell me to whoever will raise the esteem of this house and fill his coffers.”
Mira looked like she wanted to reply but closed her mouth. Mira knew what she said was true. Her brother had been trying to find her a suitable match for the last couple of years. Ivy was relieved that so far, he had not found a match to his liking. None of the potential suitors had either the esteem or the money that would satisfy Castor - something Ivy could have told him.
Elix was not one of the jewels of London. House Welton was a second, perhaps even third-tier House. Maybe even lower, depending on who you asked. As such, Ivy was not going to fetch a commanding price since Elix could neither raise another House’s esteem very much, and Castor would not be able to offer much in the way of a dowry. Her brother wanted a king’s ransom in return for a minor pittance, but that was not how the world worked. Even she could have told him that.
“Perhaps that is why I gave myself to Fin,” she said softly. “Because I know that I will have no control over what happens to me. Perhaps I wanted one good memory to take with me when he sells me off.”
Mira gave her an encouraging smile. “He has not sold you off yet,” she told her. “Who knows what the future holds, Ivy? Do not give up hope.”
“It seems hopeless, though.”
Mira shook her head. “Nothing is hopeless. Things can change.” Her voice was firm. “Things always change. That is the nature of life.”
Ivy wanted to take heart in Mira’s words. Wanted to believe that maybe, just maybe, she would have some say in her future. That she would have some control over her life. But unless Castor somehow were removed from control of Elix…
Her thoughts immediately changed direction, and she began to think about everything she and Fin had talked about. She thought about what he believed Castor was guilty of. If he were guilty, that would remove him from power. But it would also mean his death. That was a thought that filled her with no joy. No matter how far apart they had drifted over the years, he was still her brother, and she had no desire to see him executed.
But then, she had found nothing so far. She had kept her eyes open and her ears alert, but she had neither seen nor heard anything that would implicate him in the plot to assassinate the Duke and Gillian.
“Do you want to be with Fin?” Mira asked. “Do you love him in that way?”
As she pushed thoughts of Castor from her mind and let thoughts of Fin filter back in, she was filled with a warmth and a sense of joy once more. He had that effect on her. All she had to do was think of him, conjure an image of his face and an echo of his voice in her mind, and her mood, no matter how bleak, turned around nearly instantly. She was not sure how he came to have such a hold and power over her. But somewhere along the line, he had.
“I care about him in a very powerful way,” Ivy said softly. “But it seems too early to call it - love.”
Mira shrugged. “It is never too early when you know it is right,” she replied. “And how does he feel about you?”
Ivy’s mind drifted back to that moment, just after they had made love, and he was hovering above her, looking down into her eyes. He looked like he’d wanted to say something to her but had stopped himself, and Ivy wondered if he was going to tell her that he loved her. She knew he felt as strongly for her as she did for him. It was obvious - even to her. But love? She was not sure she would go that far.
“I know he cares for me,” she said. “I know he cares for me very much.”
Mira smiled. “I can see how happy he makes you. And that is good to see. It seems like forever since I have seen you this happy.”
Ivy sighed again as the reality of her world came crashing down upon her again. But Mira squeezed her hands tightly and held her gaze firmly.
“Do not give up hope,” she urged Ivy. “The world can change quickly. You just never know what might happen in the future.”
Unfortunately for Ivy, she did know what would happen in the future and knew that hers would take one of two paths. The first would see her married to a man she neither knew nor cared for. Wed for the benefits her brother would reap. The second path would end in the death of her brother and leave her with nothing but uncertainty.
After she left Mira, Ivy strolled through the castle with her head in the clouds. She had no destination in mind, she was simply restless and wandering. She had pushed all other thoughts out of her mind except for Fin. More specifically, of making love with Fin.
She made her way out to the balcony that overlooked the western edge of the cherry orchards and inhaled the fragrance from below. In the distance, the sun was slipping toward the horizon, casting the sky in vibrant reds and oranges. To the east, the sky was already growing darker with the onset of night. The sight of the natural world around her was breathtaking, and it never failed to fill her with a sense of awe.
But as her thoughts seemed to be doing more frequently, they turned to Fin seemingly of their own accord. Although she felt the slight aches and pains of her first time laying with a man, her body still tingled with the memory of his touch. Her lips still burned with the memory of his kiss. And the mere thought of having him inside of her made Ivy feel as if she might climax on the spot. The pinch of pain she had felt in the beginning had been quickly drowned out by the intense pleasure she had felt.
“And what has you smiling to yourself like you’ve gone mad?”
Ivy’s heart lurched in her chest, and a cold finger of dread slid up her spine at the sound of her brother’s voice. She turned and tried to stuff down the feeling of contempt that naturally arose within her when Castor was around. He strolled out onto the balcony, a flagon of one foul alcoholic beverage or another in hand. He gazed at her with a cold, imperious expression on his face, as if he believed he was somehow better than her simply because he was the Baron.
But more than that, the way he looked at her sent a chill sweeping through her. His gaze was piercing and penetrating. It was as if he could see straight through her and was able to see her darkest secrets. As if he knew she had given herself over to Fin. The thought of Castor, knowing she had given him her maidenhead, and what he would do to her, made her stomach clench in fear.
The knot of fear in her belly tightened, causing the pain inside of her to grow and sending a wave of nausea washing through her. If Castor knew, Ivy thought she would be better off throwing herself off the balcony than face whatever punishment he wanted to dole out. She knew well just how cruel her brother could be and had no desire to have that sort of torment inflicted upon her. The mere prospect of it scared her to death.
But Castor did not say anything. He just continued to stare at her, his gaze icy. It made Ivy think back to their childhood, though, and to strangely recall the times they had been happy. Times when they had been equal, and Castor had not believed himself to be better than her simply by virtue of a title he had inherited. Castor had once been a sweet boy. Quick to laugh and smile. She had looked up to him, for he had been kind and compassionate. She remembered that clearly.
But that all changed shortly after their mother died. His smile - the warm one that never failed to fill her heart - seemed to have died with her. It was shortly after their mother died that he started to turn cold. A process that was only officially completed when he was given the family ring that has been worn by generations of Welton men who held the title of Baron.
“Can I simply not be in a good mood, Brother?”
