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Chapter Ten
Angus wished he could slam the door after he left, but he didn’t want to hurt her head any more than it already did. Bloody feckin’ bastard! He still cared about the woman and her health even though she cared naught for him and how she treated him.
Sure, he had read her letter, but what else was he to do? All he had been trying to be this whole time was the kind of laird who was able to step in and take care of the clan that was left to him while his brother was away. He already feared he wasn’t good enough for the task, but Charlotte made him feel totally useless like he could do nothing right. And that was exactly why he had shied away from marriage in general, to begin with. In a marriage, you are always beholden to someone else, and you must always think of them.
If the woman was as headstrong and hurtful as Charlotte Andrews was, then a lifetime of loneliness and doing as he wished was exactly what he wanted. He wanted it even more now. He wanted to be his own man and make his own decisions without someone coming to berate him.
He moved quickly to his own room, and this time shut the door hard. It was a childish gesture, he knew. He and his brother used to do it when their parents had scolded them about something, but now he needed a way to vent the anger that was making him shake. It was too bad it was now late at night. No one would spar swords with him at this hour. He called for dinner to be brought to his room, even though his stomach was still battling the effects of the argument and recoiled at thoughts of food.
Damn that lass! Good riddance to her!
Once she left and was out of his hair, he could finally focus on what was actually important: the clan. And not some uppity Sassenach who could not listen to any sort of criticism or think about anything beyond what she wanted to do. He sat by his own hearth, leaning his elbows on his knees, staring into the flames. He had so much to think of in preparation for the coming weeks, and yet all he could do was think about when he had first entered the room and saw her for the first time since their kiss
Despite the rainstorm which had soaked her through and covered her with mud, her injury, and the fact that he had not wished to see her after the kiss, she looked more beautiful than ever. He was awed in her presence, and he felt as silly as Liam as he entered shyly, trying to string a pair of words together.
Her beautiful reddish-blonde hair had been strewn about her shoulders, damp and tousled, but it only added to her charms. Her cheeks were flushed from the heat of the room, and her green eyes watched him curiously as if they were watching an animal enter the room instead of a man.
Food came, and he ate slowly, absentmindedly, as he tried to work out the knot that was in his chest. She was going, and he needed her to go, or else things would get too complicated. He had felt the tension that was between them in her room. He wanted to kiss her again, and he had a feeling that she did too, but all was blurred by the argument and the hurt that he had caused her. And now, she would be gone. He would never really have to see her again unless she visited Julia and Calum at some point.
Despite the freedom that would give him, a tiny piece of him screaming to be heard did not wish her to go. That tiny part of him was the one that had let go and touched his fingertips to her own, wanting to be close to her once again and rekindle the heat from the other night, which had threatened to set them aflame. But, no, it could not happen now. Now that she was leaving, and now that they had said all those things to each other. He had hurt her by reading the letter, and he had called her a burden. She believed him to be a tyrant. Where could they go from here? Separation was the only option.
But he felt guilty. And he sat with his thoughts until he drifted off into a lonely and dissatisfying sleep.
* * *
The next morning, he awoke with a jolt. The first thought was about Charlotte and if she was well. But then he laid back. She certainly would not wish to see him. She would have to rest in her room until she was well enough to be on her way. A week should be plenty of time. He dressed in a hurry and rushed to Mrs. MacLean to ask discreetly about the patient.
He found her in the Great Hall, laying out food for the morning meal. “Ah, Angus, welcome. I thought ye should know that I gave the young boy food and lodging last night, and now that we’ve awoken tae a beautiful, fresh morning,” she pointed towards the outside windows through which peeked a taunting blue sky, “He will be on his way this morning with Mistress Andrews.”
Angus shook his head, hoping to shake off the dredges of sleep that still clung to him. He thought he hadn’t heard correctly. “Charlotte is leaving? Taeday?”
Mrs. MacLean sighed and chuckled at the same time. “Aye, there is nae stopping that lass. I tried tae argue, but she told me her father wished her return and that she must be on her way. She told me she was feeling much better.”
Angus was still in shock. “But, surely, she is nae well enough tae travel, nae in her condition.”
Mrs. MacLean held up her hands in defense. “I told ye, Sir, that she is nae tae be argued with. She did look much better after a night’s rest, and once we assessed the wound, we found ‘twas naething tae concern ourselves with greatly. But, I told her she must rest at the Fort as soon as she arrives.”
Angus was flabbergasted. She was leaving, and a week earlier than was required. Damn it. It was because of the letter. He couldn’t think of any other reason. “Is she still here?” He asked, his voice pained, and he hoped that Mrs. MacLean didn’t notice.
She nodded and kept her head down as she laid out the dishes. “Aye, but she will be leaving shortly. The servants are busy packing food for her, and the boy tae take this morning, and I believe she is with her servant in her chamber, packing her clothing.”
Before Mrs. MacLean could say another word, Angus rushed upstairs to find her. His mind was still heavy with not enough sleep, so he had no thought of what his behavior looked like to others. Behind him in the Hall, Mrs. MacLean chuckled to herself. “Good lad,” she said.
Angus knocked lightly on Charlotte’s door, and he was dismayed at the sound of her light, almost cheery voice. So she was excited to leave. He entered and shut the door behind him, and leaned back against it, crossing his arms.
Charlotte looked up and lifted an eyebrow, but she kept packing. There was no maid in sight. “So, ye have decided tae leave early then?”
Her voice had lost the light cheer of before and was replaced with forced calmness. “Yes, and what should it matter to you? I will no longer be a burden, and you can get on with your duties. I will not be troubling you anymore.”
He clenched his jaw. “And what about yer patients?”
Charlotte tensed at that question but paused only for a moment before continuing to move items to her trunk. “I have talked to Mrs. MacLean at length this morning. I have alerted her to the patients’ needs. And I will write to her from the Fort, and she will send me updates. I have a theory, but I need to study it further before I can make any plans. I hope you do not mind; I have taken a medical book from the library?” She turned towards him, her one hand on her hip, daring him to fight against her.
“Nae, but why are ye leaving early? Ye’ve barely recovered!”
She sighed. “’Tis best that I get out of your way and do it soon. Besides, I can’t deal with being badgered any more. I’m much more used to being badgered by family, as opposed to a complete stranger.”
Angus moved towards her. “This is nonsense, lass. Ye could just wait until the week is up.” He couldn’t even believe what he was saying. It was like he was pleading with her when that was the exact opposite of what he wished to do. But, his heart was twinging with the thought of her going now. He thought he had a whole week left to get used to the idea.
