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Charlotte had rather hoped that the new day would not bring thoughts of Angus back to her, but here she was, speaking his name aloud, and she had not yet had breakfast.
Lord Darling looked as though he was thinking deeply about something. “I see. Well, then ‘tis a good thing you returned from the Isle when you did. It would not be very seemly for a gentleman’s daughter, and a General’s daughter at that, to be living alone with a man in a castle, would it, Sir?” Lord Darling looked down at General Andrews.
General Andrews nodded and said, “Yes, my dear, I am most happy to have you back with me. That way, I can keep an eye on you.”
Charlotte was about to protest when Lord Darling continued. “Yes, young women ought to be guided towards their ultimate destinations. A good father cannot have his daughter wandering about doing Lord knows what on an island without supervision.”
Charlotte wanted to wring the man’s neck. Who was he to begin to tell both her and her father what to do? She wished she could appeal to her father’s good sense. He was the general of this fort! But she knew that her father did not have it in him. She could see it in his every movement. He was subdued, quiet, and in the space of only one night, Lord Darling had gotten his claws into him.
Charlotte wished that she could tell Lord Darling what she thought of his daughter’s behavior at the dinner table, attempting to read a book when guests were present, but she held her tongue. “Well, then I returned just at the appropriate time.” She forced a smile, hoping she could trick Lord Darling into thinking she was a well-behaved young woman.
He smiled back in the same awkward way. “Oh, and Miss Andrews, as for your earlier statement. You do not need to worry your head about how I should feel about my duties as assistant to your father. I know who pays taxes to the Crown, and I know what is best. We will not send any more gifts to the island at this time. And we will begin to prepare for the war that will eventually come. I know these Scottish brutes, and they think only with swords and strength, and not with whatever brains they have left. We must protect ourselves and keep things in order for His Majesty.”
Charlotte nodded tightly, her fists clenching slowly behind her back. She turned to leave the room, feeling the bile rise in her throat, but Lord Darling stopped her. “Miss Andrews, you must have many other pleasant things to put your mind to. Your upcoming marriage, in fact. I will be assisting your father in helping him find a proper match.”
* * *
Angus had been out the previous day, riding through the island to try to refocus his mind on his tasks ahead. He’d spoken to the tenants with the largest farms. They were ready to plant and would be doing so in a few days, but their barns and homes were a little worse for wear. He evaluated their needs, making notes in a small booklet, and he left them, noting that he would need to send men over the next day to make purchases for a few more supplies. He could send Liam. As for grazing land, he spoke to those tenants with their newly regained cows and sheep and let them know which areas would be open for grazing as soon as they wished it. Most of the animals had been cooped up all winter long in Lady MacLean’s stables in the castle, and the ground was too hard for grazing.
But now, with the beautiful March sun on his face and the wind whipping through the trees and grasses, it was ready. Clan MacLean was ready to come out of its years-long hibernation and show the Campbells that they had strengthened and would be thriving once more.
But this morning, he had slept late, feeling the fatigue of his long ride, and he drank hot tea in the Great Hall alone. His head ached, so he felt justified in having a bit more sleep. Liam and a few other men were sent across the Sound to hunt, as well as buy the products needed for rebuilding.
Despite being the only inhabitant of the upper rooms of the castle, each mealtime, Mrs. MacLean would still lay food for him, and he would eat in silence, staring into the flames, trying his best to put his mind on the most important things ahead. He had received word from Calum, but it was a short and terse message.
Brother,
London is bigger than I’d ever expected. The trial still goes on, and we do not yet know how long we will be here. Send me any word on the clan that you can. The Campbells will arrive soon. Lean on Charlotte for any assistance.
Calum
It had done nothing to bolster Angus’ courage as he tried to take care of things, and it had only made him more regretful of his actions towards Charlotte that made her want to leave before her time. He would have to let Calum know that she was gone at her father’s wish, but he would most certainly not tell him of any of the emotions that were raging in his heart every day.
Silence was now his worst enemy, and mealtimes were the only times that he was really alone if he could help it. There was no one else to accompany him, and he thought perhaps he should begin to eat on the road, carrying food with him as he traversed the Isle each day. ‘Lean on Charlotte for any assistance.’ His brother’s words kept hanging in his mind, repeating themselves mercilessly over and over. He had done the exact opposite of leaning on her. Instead, he had kept her at a sort of distance and continued pushing her away until those times that he could no longer withstand the desire for her that only grew with each moment they had spent together.
To his embarrassment, he had spent many an evening since she’d left helping himself to pleasurable release with her in his thoughts, but it was the only way he could help assuage the desire that only built further.
He was deep in thought, his head beginning to pound even more with all the thoughts raging within when Mrs. MacLean entered the room with excitement. “Sir! Angus!” She was waving two notes in her hand. “A load of vegetables has just arrived from the Fort! Young Seamus is down there helping the men tae unload it, and I will send them to the horse carts. I have the note from her tae accompany the gift, and it appears she has written me a letter as well!”
Angus put his hand out to take up the note, and his eyes scanned over the short message. It was like they were hungry for word of Charlotte and any connection to her. But the note was quick, cold, and to the point, giving him a duty to distribute the food. What did he expect? An effusive letter of regret and sadness at her departure? A desire to return?
He scowled, angry at his own feelings, and turned to see Mrs. MacLean opening up her letter beside him. She screwed up her face, attempting to read. “Och, I will need my spectacles tae read this, and they are nae upon me. Would ye do me the service, Sir? With yer young eyes, we shall be able tae read the lady’s message quickly.” Mrs. MacLean nodded and smiled, holding the letter out to him.
Angus was taken aback. He didn’t realize that she’d needed reading glasses, and he felt uncomfortable with her request. “Are ye sure ye wish me tae read yer personal letter, Mrs. MacLean? There may be things within that Mistress wishes me nae tae know of.” I must be learning lessons now, he thought to himself, after the letter debacle only last week.
Mrs. MacLean smiled kindly. “I’m certain she wouldnae mind. Besides, I am giving ye the permission, Angus. And I have a feeling this is nae out of the area of yer expertise.” She couldn’t help but chuckle at her insinuation. Angus glanced at her and then sighed. So she knew. Excellent. And here he was, living on his own with everyone in a complete understanding of his own shame.
He took the letter from her and unfolded it. As he read, he was surprised by the kind and gentle tone. Was this the real Charlotte Andrews? The one that had nearly ripped his head off at each of their encounters or most of them.
Dear Mrs. MacLean,
You must forgive me. I have been trying to write for the past week, but none of the ways I tried to apologize were coming out properly. So you will find a pile of crumpled paper ashes in my fireplace as I struggled to say what I wanted to say. I am so sorry that I had to rush off in such haste. You have done so much for me to make me feel comfortable during my stay with Julia, and I hate that I could not give you a proper goodbye.
I am often rather headstrong, and when I take a notion into my head, I follow it through without thought. It is one of my many faults. And I feel terribly guilty about leaving the patients in that state, so I hope this delivery of fruits and vegetables will serve them well. I have written for it to be distributed among those that are ill.
How are they faring? How are you faring? And how is Angus as he continues to help the clan? I must confess, I feel guilty leaving him as well, for I know that it was his brother’s wish that I stay to help.
Please write to me, Mrs. MacLean. I wish to hear all of your news. Here at the Fort, it is unutterably dull, but it has been nice to see my father again after many weeks.
