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A couple of minutes after that, our mothers walk down the stairs, entirely dressed up with full makeup on their faces.
"Mom, where are you going?" I asked in surprise, jumping up from my seat.
"Bell Harbor shops, honey. It won't take long," she explains, waving a hand. "Do you want to come with us?"
I'm still wearing a bathing suit and haven't brushed my hair since the afternoon swim. But she knows perfectly that I hate shopping. That's why she didn't ask me in advance.
"But why? It's a sunny day. We could swim, talk..." I protest, almost begging them to stay. That's how much I'm afraid to stay with Josh by myself.
"Honey, I arrived from Tanzania, remember?" She laughs. "They have sun there, but no Chanel boutiques."
"But what about me? You haven't seen me in months." I try to push at the mother-daughter angle, hoping her conscience will wake up and she'll stay.
"Honey, we're all coming back to LA tomorrow for your and Josh's graduation."
I didn't know that. She didn't tell me. My parents haven't visited LA for a long time. I had no idea they would want to come. Mom had said a couple of months ago that she wouldn't miss my graduation, but I didn't believe her.
I want to say something more when I realize that they're already gone.
And I’m alone with Josh again.
I look at him. I bet that he can see that I'm looking at him in his peripheral vision, but he pretends that he’s continuing to read even though he hasn’t flipped a page for the last ten minutes.
He's pretending I do not exist.Again.There were fourteen years of friendship, two years of torture, and two years of ignoring. And then there was one magical night, but now he's back to oblivion again.
I can't take this anymore.
Chapter Sixteen
Kendall
I don't think twice before coming closer to him. He still pretends he's reading without even looking at me. I snatch the book out of his hand and throw it onto the grass.
Josh doesn't say a word; he doesn't even move. He's looking up at me as if he was expecting me to do exactly what I did, and he doesn't care.
"I'm sick of your evil games, Underwood," I start yelling, standing over him. "I'm sick of your cruelty, even though I did nothing to you!" My voice is trembling as I scream, but I continue anyway. "And even more, I'm sick of you pretending that you're trying to be friends with me again! Screw you!"
I try to walk away, but Josh gets up from his lounger with the speed of a lion and grabs me by the hand to stop.
"Let me go!" I try to pull away, but it doesn’t work. His grip is stronger than a lion's.
"Are you running to prepare yourself for Damian?" Josh asks through clenched teeth, looking down at me.
"What are you talking about? It was a joke!" I try to escape once again, but he grabs my other hand and pulls me closer to him.
"You're the one who pretends that she cares but doesn't," he hisses back at me, looking with that strange disgust again that I saw on his face yesterday. "Did you come for me to pet your pussy again? And then you'll go back to good boys like Chad? Or will you wait for Prince Damian, hoping that after he fucks all of the Manhattan girls he'll finally get tired of them and come back to you?"
For a couple of seconds, I freeze in place, processing his words. Our eyes lock, and I feel like mine are filling with tears at how he’s looking at me. As if he hates me and wants to punish me, all at once.
"You have no right to speak to me like that! What did I do for you to hate me this much?"
It's a question, but it's more like a statement. And he doesn't object to it as I speak. He keeps staring at me as if he wants to tear me apart, holding both of my hands in his grip. "What were you expecting from me? To fall on my knees in front of you after we spent the night together?"
I chuckle, shaking my head. My heart is pounding so fast I swear it is going to pop out of my chest any second. It's been years since I wanted to ask Josh what had happened between us, and I’ve finally done it.
But he doesn't answer any of my questions. He takes a step closer, pressing his body against mine.
I can feel his breath on my skin, and for a moment, I think that maybe he wants to kiss me, and then it will fix everything, and we'll manage to be friends again.
