AllFreeNovel
Share Us
What the literal hell?
Marco
Whattheliteralhell?
I hear the door slam behind me as I make my way through the garage to my truck in a hurry. I need to get away from this conversation, now.
So many things are running through my head, the loudest of all beingwhat the literal hell?
I can’t believe she’s saying that she’s unhappy with our marriage. And our sex life. It’s not that bad, is it? I think it’s great. What is she even talking about?
I turn the key in the ignition and go to put it in gear when I catch a glimpse of the time on my dashboard. It’s way too early to get the kids but I have to get the hell out of here, so I throw my phone in the center console, drop down into reverse, and back out. I’m sure I’ll look like an idiot being an hour early in the pickup line, but anything is better than here.
As I drive away from my house, the relief I had hoped I’d feel from putting distance between me and Ellie never comes. Instead, my heart actually longs to be near her right now, but my head just wants space.
How long has she felt this way? Why hasn’t she ever said anything until now? How could she hide the fact that she started therapy?That thought makes me even angrier because we’ve always told each other everything.
My heart plummets to my stomach when I hear my phone ring next to me. No way I am ready to talk to her yet. I’d just say something stupid that I would immediately regret and it’d make this mess worse, so I ignore it. After a few seconds, the ringing stops, and I force the air I’d been holding deep in my gut out in a rush.
I just need time to figure out what she was asking from me, if she’s even asking me anything. I’m even more confused the more I think about it because I can’t remember a question now, but I’m sure it wasn’t something I had an answer to anyway.
My body tenses as I hear the phone start to ring again. Fortunately, I just pulled into the school drive up line, so I put it in park and grab my phone.
My mother’s name is clear on the screen, but I make no effort to answer. I’m careful not to stop the ringing and send it straight to voicemail becausethatwould be a whole different thing with her.
When the ringing finally stops, I see that I have two missed calls from my mother and none from Ellie. Why hasn’t she called and tried to talk this out with me? Probably because I blew up on her like a jackass. Nothing she was saying would compute, except how she wasn’t happy, and I am the one who should be making her happy.
She makes me happy.
Once again, my phone starts to ring, my mother for the third time now. Heat prickles my entire body as I wring the back of my neck almost painfully. Knowing she’s not likely to stop calling until I answer, I hit the green accept button.
“Hello, Mom,” I say, trying to keep my tone even and tongue steady.
“Marco, sweetie. I was just calling to double-check that Ellie didn’t forget to get me a ticket to the carnival tomorrow. I know she said she did, but she’s always so busy so maybe she forgot. Do you know if she did?”
My eyes roll so far back in my head that I swear I see gray brain matter. Taking a deep breath, I force out, “Mom, if she said she did, she did. Ellie wouldn’t lie.”Unless it’s about her satisfaction in bed….apparently there’s no place for truth there. I shake the thought from my head. “Mom, I need to get off the phone. I’m about to pick up the kids.”
“Wait! I wanted to see if you could come by today and take a look at my side gate again. Whatever you did last time to fix it wasn’t enough because it’s broken again. The latch won’t stick, and it just flies open. You know I don’t want that neighbor’s nasty dog getting in my yard.”
It is literally always something with her…. “I need to get the kids from school and get them home, but I’ll see if I can swing later.”
“Okay, but remember to bring your shop vac this time. You left so much sawdust the last time you came over. I love you, sweetie. Talk to you soon.”
“Bye, Mom.” I hit the red button to end the call and chuck my phone into the seat next to me. Thankfully, it only bounces once and doesn’t fly off the seat.
It takes me a second to realize that I’ve lost all feeling in my left hand. My knuckles are white from how tight my grip is on the steering wheel. I didn’t even know I was gripping the steering wheel. I release my hand and shake it out as I inhale a deep breath.
“Fuck!” I shout into the abyss of my empty truck, thankful now that no one is in line with me yet, and that the windows are up.
What do all the women in my life want from me?
I reach for the gum in the side pocket of my door and pop a couple into my mouth hoping for a distraction. My jaw feels like it’s going to snap in two with every chomp down as the minty freshness fills my mouth and nose.
“Do you ever feel like something is missing in our marriage?”
I lean my head back on the headrest and close my eyes. I see her beautiful face. She was so flustered as she tried to explain herself and I wanted to just hold her, but the words she was spewing overrode that feeling completely. It just makes me more frustrated because no, no I don’t feel like something is missing and I never have. I thought we were fine and happy. Now I don’t know what I think anymore.
I reach for my phone again, but this time to call someone who may understand. Since the person who always helps me solve my dilemmas is currently the one who is filling my head with the crazies, maybe another man’s point of view will help me get some clarity.
