Page 16 of Making Time for Us


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I dial Joe’s number and it rings a few times before I hear his jovial voice, “This is Joe. I’m either unable to answer your call or I just don’t want to, either way, leave a message and I’ll get back to you.”

Right as the beep sounds, I realize why he doesn’t answer. “Hey man, it’s Marco. I’m just realizing that you’re at that SWAT training today. Sorry to bug you. No need to call me back, I’ll just see you tomorrow. Talk to you later.”

After I end the call, I start mindlessly scrolling through my phone hoping for anything to stop the noise in my head when a ping alerts me of an incoming text. My heart sinks thinking, hoping, it’s Ellie, but disappointment hits when I see it’s just Joe.

Joe: What’s up, brother? Sorry I couldn’t answer your call. SWAT training.

Marco: Oh no worries, man. I forget you had that today. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, no biggie.

Joe: You sure?

Marco: Yeah, don’t stress it.

Joe: Okay. Tomorrow.

Great, just me alone with my thoughts. Thoughts I can’t even sort out right now because there’s suddenly a long line of cars behind me that lets me know that school is about to be out. Shaking my head again, I turn on the radio and listen for a few minutes until I hear the buzzer indicating school is over.

My four beautiful kids come running out of the building like they’re hyped up on Easter candy, the boys pants covered in mud, and the girls’ ponytails barely hanging on. I chuckle softly to myself; they must have all played pretty hard today.

I unlock the doors right as they make their way to the truck. Johnathan opens the front passenger door while Camden opens the back.

“Hey, peeps and jellybeans.”

Johnathan hops up and begins to buckle his seat while the girls and Camden get into their boosters in the back.

“Hi Daddy!” the girls say in unison.

“Hi, girlies. I missed you today.”

“Hi Dad, where’s Mom?” Camden asks.

I scoff, pretending to be offended. “What am I, chopped liver? It’s good to see you too,” I tease, and he laughs.

“You know I love you Dad, just wanted to see mom.” He shrugs like he didn’t just cut me down a size.

She really is their whole world, and damnit if I’m not grateful for that. She’s my whole world too. Maybe I can see how she’s lost herself in us a little. I just thought I was doing enough to make sure she was satisfied with our life too…

Chapter 7

Zippy Energy

Ellie

“Whatdoyoucalla cow who refuses to pay rent?” Jonathan asks me at the breakfast table the next morning.

“What?” I ask, forcing a small smile as I sip my coffee, trying to ignore the knots in my stomach from yesterday’s disaster of a conversation.

“A MOOcher!” he replies in a fit of giggles as Camden starts to laugh too.

Forcing the most sincere sound I can manage, I lightly chuckle. “You’re so clever, kiddo.”

The boys start throwing jokes back at each other while the girls play dolls over their oatmeal and I stare down at the bowl in front of me. With my upset stomach, there’s no chance I’m eating that. I push it away and grip my coffee with both hands.

I look at Marco and he immediately drops his eyes back to his bowl. We haven’t said a word to each other since he left yesterday.

I’ve tried to say something so many times, but then I remember how hurt he was, and I choke on my words because I really don’t want to hurt him again, and I’m not sure how else to say what I mean.

A few minutes later, the kids’ bowls are empty, and I look around the table with a smile. “You kids ready for the school carnival today?”

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