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“Hey,buddy.How’sitgoing? Sorry again that I couldn’t talk yesterday.” Joe shakes my hand before he picks up Timmy for a hug.
“Oh, no worries, man. It’s going, I’m just glad I didn’t have to work the booth this year. That’s for sure.”
“Aww, it’s not that bad.” He sets Timmy down on his feet.
“Dad!!!” I hear Camden and Jonathan shout as they run up to me with Nancy and Dave and the girls.
“Hey, kiddos. Do you guys want to hop in the SWAT Truck?” I ask the kids.
The girls shake their heads but Camden yells, “Yeah! Let’s go!” Then he leads Timmy and Johnathan into the back of the armored truck.
Nancy says to me, “The girls asked to get their faces painted so we’re going to take them.”
"I want a unicorn!" Lilliana shouts, followed by a, "Me too!" from Olivia.
I laugh before I say, “Sounds good. We’ll meet you here when you’re done.” I lean down and give them both a kiss on their cheek and a hug. “Bye, girlies. Have fun with Nana and Papa.”
“Bye, Daddy!” they shout as they each grab a grandparent’s hand and start tugging. Nancy and Dave both laugh as I wave goodbye to them.
Joe and I hang at the back of the truck and all three boys explore the stripped-down SWAT vehicle. Thankfully, they have it all to themselves right now.
Joe stares at me for a second and says, “You okay, man? You look a little distracted. Does it have to do with why you called yesterday?”
I wring the back of my neck as I look around to make sure we’re still alone. “Yeah, just a little rattled by something Ellie said to me yesterday.”
“What did she say?” he asks one eyebrow cocked.
I look around and see my girls with Ellie’s parents waiting in line for face paints and Jess and Ellie talking to Jonathan’s teacher. My mother is nowhere to be found, but that’s pretty standard for her. I don’t even know why she comes to these things with us.
I lower my voice to just above a whisper. “She asked me if I still want to have sex with her and if I think something is missing in our marriage… I was totally blindsided.”
“Well, do you want to have sex with her? Is something missing?” he asks nonchalantly.
“No! Yes! I mean…” I shake my head as I try to put the right words in order. “There is nothing missing in our marriage. We’re happy and I love her more than life itself. And of course, I still want to have sex with her. Her body is more beautiful to me now than it was when we were younger. I don’t even know how she could ask me that.” I roll my eyes and stand up a little straighter. “Then she asked me why we don’t have sex that much and I immediately got defensive and said a bunch of stupid shit, most of which I don’t even remember. I do recall how upset and sad she was though and that makes my stomach sick thinking about it. Then I just didn’t know what to say so I left. That’s when I called you.”
“So how often do you have sex?” he asks.
I shrug. “Like once a week on a good week, twice a month sometimes.”
He winces. “Oh man, that’s it? Are you having issues with your junk? Need a little blue pill? I know a place online you can—”
I interrupt him before he can go further with that thought, “No, that’s not it. My junk is fine, thank you.” I roll my eyes at him.
He chuckles. “What’s the problem then, man? Bend her over the kitchen counter and show her the goods still work.”
“We’re not like that. Since we became parents it hasn’t been a priority, you know.” I hear the boys pretending to chase a bad guy in the front seat and it makes me smile. “She was exhausted when she was pregnant with Johnny and then after he was born I never wanted to pressure her to have sex. The first time we did have sex after she got clearance from her doctor, she silently cried through the whole thing and then ended up accidentally pregnant with Camden.” I shake my head and scoff. “Nursing as natural birth control, my ass. Then she didn’t want to have sex again for months because she was so sick with him. By the time the boys were finally both sleeping well and we started to have sex a little more, we decided we wanted one more kid and then we got two.”
“Dad! Dad! Can we wear the SWAT helmets that are hanging on these hooks?” I hear Camden yell from the truck.
Joe laughs and yells back to him, “Yeah, buddy! Have Timmy show you how to unhook the strap.”
“Thanks, Joe!” Camden yells back and I immediately hear the helmets banging against each other.
“You were saying… your two-for-one.” He points to the girls, and I laugh when I see most of their faces are covered in bright-colored paint. “Best surprise ever though, right? I love those little unicorns.”
“They are incredible and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. Ellie was just so sick during their pregnancy as well so sex was the farthest thing from her mind. Then all of a sudden, we had four little kids. And kids don’t leave a lot of time and energy for extracurriculars, you know.” He nods as I wring my neck again. “Plus work. I’m exhausted at the end of a long day, just like she is. It just hasn’t been our focus.” I shrug.
“Dude, you need to make it a priority. If it’s something you both want, make the time.”
