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“I don’t think therapy isjustfor couples who are in trouble. I know she can help us communicate better…” She pauses too but I don’t have anything to add so I let her go on. “This is new for us. We didn’t do a great job communicating and figuring it out ourselves the first time and I don’t think any more time will help us learn something we don’t know. I think she can help. This is not a conversation I want to screw up again."
“You didn’t screw it up. We both didn’t handle it well. It’s hard to talk about.”
“I agree, and that’s why I want to go. Can wetryand if it doesn’t help, we’ll never go again,” she pleads.
My heart sinks when I hear the desperation in her voice. Couple’s therapy for a couple that’s otherwise solid, sounds unnecessary to me. “Can I have some time to think about it?” I ask.
“Oh, uhh. Yeah, I guess.” She pauses again. I can’t take hurting her anymore.
“No, if that’s what you want, I’ll go with you.”
“Really? Thank you so much!” The relief in her voice washes over me like rain in a drought and my muscles relax in a way they haven't in days.
“For the record, I really think we can figure it out on our own.”
“I know it’ll help. She's great. I just want to figure it out together, love… I’ll let you get back to work.”
“No, wait!” I’m desperate to keep her on the phone a little longer and hear her sweet voice that I’ve been missing these last couple of days. “I feel like we haven’t talked in forever. How’s your day going?”
“It’s been good. After drop-off, I came home to put the house back together. Kid sickness is the gift that keeps on giving.” She laughs at her little joke and I smile. “I scrubbed both bathrooms, then deep cleaned the kitchen, started laundry, vacuumed…you know, pretty basic stuff. Since I was sweaty already, I did some yoga. I’m liking —”
“4703. Reports of a 3-party accident at the intersection of Palm Street and Shell Way. The caller says no parties need an ambulance at this time.”
I scrub my free hand over my forehead.Then just tell them to fucking exchange insurance and leave me out of it.“4703. Show me en route.” I tell dispatch. “Ellie, I have to go.”
“I heard. Be safe. I love you so much, Marco.” Her sincerity puts me at ease.
“Love you too. See you tonight.” I throw my truck in drive and head to the accident.
You know as a kid how you’re excited for Christmas morning to come, so live each day in this heightened anticipation and count down the days, hours, and minutes?
Yeah, waiting for couples therapy is nothing like that. Each hour that passes makes me want to shit myself because I don’t want to talk aboutmy feelingswith a total stranger.
I’m doing this for Ellie.Deep breath in.I’m doing this for Ellie.
It’s Wednesday morning, the start of my three-day weekend, and Ellie is dropping the kids off at school while I get ready to go.
My foot is shaking while I sip my coffee at the table and wait for her to get back. We’ve been trying to act normal for the last two days, but I hate that there’s an elephant in the room. It’s like I’m walking on eggshells not wanting to say something dumb, but I really want to kick the uncomfortable silence and talk about it together so I can have my Ellie back.
I hear the garage door open and a few seconds later Ellie walks in. My heart skips a beat at the sight of her. She's wearing her hair in a bun with an oversized cream sweater, black leggings, and tennis shoes, but the thing that melts me is the sweet smile she offers me when she sees me.
“You ready to go, love?” she asks.
“Ready as I'll ever be,” I joke as jitters dance in my stomach.
“Are you nervous?”
“A little. You?”
“I think it’ll be good for us. I just want help to figure out where we go from here.” She smiles at me again as I stand, and she threads her fingers through mine.
We make out way out to my truck, and when we get to her side, I open her door but she doesn’t get in.
After a few seconds of staring at me with tenderness in her eyes, she says, “You know I love you so much, Marco, right?”
Warmth spreads throughout my body as I stare down into her bright eyes. “I do.” I lean in and kiss her lips gently, enjoying the strawberry flavor on her lips. “I love you more, Ellie.”
We untangle our fingers and instantly my body itches to taste her lips again, but instead, she climbs in, and I shut the door behind her.
