AllFreeNovel
Share Us
During our therapy session, Katherine had mentioned that romance means different things to different people, but I honestly hadn’t given it much thought beyond that. I’d always heardromanceand I thought of candles and flowers and all that mushy junk, but apparently, that’s not it so I didn’t know what to say.
When I asked her to go first to give me time to formulate an answer, she didn’t hesitate when she said the single most romantic things I do is ask how I can help when I’m not sure what to do or if she looks overwhelmed. She said the little things I do like switching the laundry or replacing the toilet paper make her swoon. Just letting her know that we're partners and we carry the load together is what she finds most romantic. I laughed when she mentioned toilet paper, but she looked me dead in the eye and said she was serious. Those things are way easier than candles and flowers and junk, so it was good to know.
I didn’t know if she expected me to have some profound answer, but after some thought, I said I find itromanticto be thought about. I love that she packs my lunch every day and leaves me little notes that say things like: “Thank you for being such a wonderful husband and father. I love you.”Or “I miss your face when you’re a work.”Those notes always put a smile on my face and make me wish I could drop everything and run home to her because she really sees me.
After a long work week, I’m on my last day four of four. It’s been one infuriating incident after another all week long and I’m dragging ass, so ready for my weekend.
Yesterday morning, I responded to another call of a local business on Main Street that was burglarized like Ocean Outfitters and Carly’s Candy. Same MO and the same level of destruction. This time it was a beauty salon and bottles of shampoo and conditioner were stolen and the place was trashed. It was a mess. They didn’t have security cameras either so there wasn’t much evidence to pull from the scene.
I’m currently standing in the crisp fall air under the moonlight on the closed highway hours after my shift has ended. I should have been home hours ago. I’m waiting on Seaside Fire Department to finish hosing off the blood from the road.
Days like today make me want to quit and walk away from this life. To storm into the Chief’s office to lay down my gun and badge, then turn around and never look back. Tragedies of this level stay will stay with me forever. Staring straight at death changes a man, and it’s even more devastating when children are involved like tonight.
After the all-clear from the fire captain, we exchange a knowing look and I open the highway again before I head to the station to do my report.
Tonight is a scheduled intimate date with Ellie, and while I want nothing more than to be with her and forget the world, my head is not in it. I’m spent in every way possible. I know she's going to be disappointed because she texted me earlier today about how much she was looking forward to it.
I drive home in silence — I could drive for ten hours, and it wouldn’t be enough time to clear my head from this day. I walk into the kitchen and Ellie is sitting at the table with her laptop open paying bills. My dinner is wrapped in foil next to her.
“Hey, Handsome,” she says with a chipper tone, but her happy demeanor is immediately replaced with a sullen one when her eyes meet mine. “What’s wrong?”
“Bad day,” I say with a shaky voice.
“Want to talk about it?” she asks compassionately.
“Not really.” I shake my head, hoping to shake the images away too. “I’m going to head to the shower. I know we had a date scheduled tonight….”
Right away she says, “Oh, don’t even worry about it. Go. I’m almost done with this, and I’ll be right there.” She smiles softly and I feel my heart thaw a little. “Do you need anything? I can bring your dinner into our room with some water?”
“Water would be great but I’m not really hungry tonight.” I lean down and kiss her forehead. “Thanks, babe.”
“Of course. I’ll see you in a few minutes,” she says as she gently grabs my face in her hands and whispers, “I’m sorry you had a hard day, love.”
I nod as I chew my bottom lip and then head to our bedroom to wash away this day.
I step into the shower and let the warm water soothe my twisted muscles. I close my eyes as I rinse my head.
I’m home. I’m safe. My family is safe.
I hear Ellie come in and I open my eyes to her walking into the bathroom. She silently undresses and then slips into the shower alongside me and grabs her toothbrush. We don’t say anything, but so much is exchanged between us in the silence. Just having her next to me, my overactive brain starts to slow, and my body returns to a state of regulation.
She shuts the water off when we’re done and turns to me with a small smile. “Let’s go to bed.”
I nod, unable to speak around the emotion of this day.
We both put pajamas on, slip under the covers, lay on our backs, and stare at the ceiling in silence. She grabs my hand atop the covers and intertwines our fingers before she turns to me.
My gaze is still towards the sky, as she says quietly next to me, “I love you so much, Marco. If I could erase all that you’ve seen, I would in a heartbeat.” Her words send me over the edge as a lone tear escapes each eye and falls down the sides of my face. She reaches to wipe them away and when she’s done, she gently turns my cheek so our eyes meet. “You’re such a good man and I wish I could take your pain away.”
My voice just barely above a whisper, I say, “They were kids, Ellie. Little kids, just like ours. They had so much life left to live.”
More tears fall as she aligns her body flush with mine, her head tucked into my armpit, and I wrap my arm around her and hold on for dear life.
After a few moments, she reaches up to offer me one small kiss on my tear-soaked cheek again. As she begins to draw away from me, I cup her cheek with my free hand and pull her lips down to mine. Her body is tense under my fingers initially, but she melts into me once I deepen the kiss, tasting the mint on her tongue.
The warmth from her kiss spreads deep inside my soul as I wrap my free hand around the nape of her neck and draw her as close to me as I possibly can.
She is my home. She tethers me to the ground so the air can return to my lungs and her love can heal my heart.
