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“Josie,” Ben’s voice breaks through my mental mess as I look over to his sympathetic expression. “You don’t have to do this right now.”
“Like hell she doesn’t,” Mom quips, swinging the envelope around. And I see her turning her venom to Ben. I can take it, but I won’t let her cut him down because she’s pissed at me. I’m done.
Just as she goes into her strings of bitching, I cut her off. “Give me the damn papers.” Her shock is evident as I add, “I’ll sign them, then you need to leave. Immediately.”
“Of course. I’m not hanging around any longer than necessary. Besides, I wasn’t invited.” She says it with distain, but she wouldn’t have attended even if she had been invited because she hates Sarah.
Just like her brother, Sarah has always defended me, and Mom knows I love the Sawyers—all of them—more than my own family. Theyaremy family. Which is why I can’t lose them to my mother’s vitriol. The thought is crippling. But the next one I have isn’t.
I decide to never speak to my mother again.
Right now isn’t the time or place to have that discussion with her. But I’m at peace with the decision and already feel the weight lifting off my shoulders. My dad might not understand my decision, because he only did what she wanted. But he’d want me to be happy. My eyes look between Ben and Sarah as I grab the envelope from Mom, pull the papers out, and follow Mary to the desk near the entrance of the lobby. Minutes later, the paper is signed and notarized, and Mom is walking out the door without another word.
Sarah is next to me before I have a chance to think about how I’m gonna make this up to her. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know she would show up.”
“Josie. Really? It’s not your fault. I don’t know exactly what that was about, but all I want to know is if you’re okay.”
“Yes.” I give her a sincere smile. “I just want to forget about it and get back to celebrating your day.”
“Deal.” She wraps me in a hug as she whispers, “I’m kinda jealous because I know Ben has the deets. I’m used to being your go-to, but I’m glad he fixed whatever birdbrain thing he did.”
“Yeah. We’re back to being frenemies, but we’ll talk about that later too. Wedding time,” I say to Sarah and loud enough for Ben to hear because I want things to go back to how they were.
I need my family. And by family, I mean the Sawyers. All of them. I can’t let my silly crush and some hot sex spoil that. Frenemies is the safest bet for Ben and me. And I always take the safe route with him. Well, except for last night. And I hope it doesn’t come back to haunt me, but the way he’s looking at me now is slowly breaking my heart. Because I don’t just see the pain on his face, I feel the same pain bubbling in my core. We both know I’m putting the brakes on whatever this is with my declaration of frenemies after what we shared last night and the things he said to me. But I can’t give him what he truly wants and get what I need. Safety. That’s what I need. Not recklessness. And Ben Sawyer, although he cares greatly for me and I do for him too, he’s anything but safe.
