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She dried a hand on the towel beside the small tub and leaned over. “You’ve come so far, baby. You have so much life left to live, Lily. I know it’s hard, but I don’t want you to look back and have any regrets.”
I forced a weak smile and she chuckled. “You know, when I was in high school, I made a list for senior year.”
“What kind of list?”
“Kind of like a senior year bucket list.”
“How did I not know about this?” I sat up straighter.
“Because I’ve been waiting for the right moment to share it with you.”
“What was on the list?”
“It doesn’t matter what was on it.” Her expression softened. “What’s important is that you know your mom wasn’t a social butterfly either. I found it hard going after the things I wanted. Your grams and grandpa, God love them, had a plan for my life, baby. One I didn’t want.
“So I made a list and promised myself I would try to push myself out of my comfort zone so I didn’t graduate with a heap of regrets.”
“Is that how you met Dad? Because of the list?”
“That is a story for another day.” Her lip quirked.
“Ew, gross.”
“Your dad actually helped me complete the final few things on my list. He was very sweet.” She lifted the kitten out of the tub and wrapped him in the towel, rubbing his little body dry.
“Sweet? Are you sure you’re talking about Dad? Jason Ford? Grumpy butt extraordinaire?” I smothered a chuckle.
“Don’t let him hear you call him that.” She fought her own smile. “I’m not saying you should write a list, Lily. But maybe you could try to push those boundaries a little this year. I know the world is a scary place, sweetheart, but there’s so much goodness out there. And who knows, maybe a cute guy is waiting for you to—”
“Mom!” I flushed, burying my face in the crook of my arm.
Her soft laughter filled the room. “You’re almost eighteen, Lily. One day, you’re going to find a guy you like and then you’ll know what I mean.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” I grumbled. I wasn’t like Peyton or my cousin Ashleigh. They were both confident and beautiful. Sure, Ashleigh wasn’t as flighty as Peyton was when it came to guys, and she hadn’t found the courage to tell her crush she liked him, but she was still confident in herself.
Mom placed the kitten in a crate, wiped her hands, and came around to me. “Lily May Ford, you are a strong, beautiful young woman. I just wish you’d see what we all see, baby.”
I sank into her embrace. I wanted to believe her words, to grab them with both hands and never let go, but there was always that little voice inside my head taunting me.
“I love you, Lily Star,” she whispered. It was what she called me whenever I was feeling down or afraid. When I was a kid, confused by the big scary world, Mom used to cuddle me and sing to me.
Lily Star,Lily Star
Don’t you cry
Lily Star, Lily Star
Just give me a smile
Lily Star, Lily Star
Whenever you’re feeling alone
Just look to the stars
And you’ll find me there
It was a silly kids song,but it was our song, and it always made me feel better.
