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“You could try saying thank you. I know what football means to guys like you, Guys like us…”
Us?
“Thanks, Coach.” I tried to keep my cool.
“Okay, now get out of here before I change my mind.”
Grabbing my bag, I stood. “Can I ask what did make you change your mind?”
“It might feel like you’re an outsider here, but you’re not,” he said cryptically. “You’ve got people in your corner, Kaiden. Now go. I’ve got a shit ton of paperwork to do.” Coach dismissed me, so I left his office more confused than when I’d arrived.
He was going to give me a shot.
After everything, Coach Ford was going to give me a shot.
It was all I’d wanted, but now I had it, I couldn’t help but feel like maybe I didn’t deserve it, after all.
Chapter Twenty-One
Lily
Something was wrong.
Kaiden didn’t text me, and when I’d passed him a note in English, he’d scribbled a lame two-word reply.
By the time the football game rolled around, I had a deep sense of dread in my stomach. Not eased any by the sight of Lindsey fawning over him and Bryan like a bad rash.
“Ugh, would you look at her,” Peyton said. “I know she’s his rally girl, but come on, could you get any more desperate.”
Except, Lindsey didn’t look desperate at all to me. She looked confident. Sexy and seductive. Her cheer outfit fit her curves like a second skin, accentuating her ass and boobs. Bryan lapped it up, laughing and joking with her while Kaiden sat there distracted.
At least he wasn’t paying her any attention.But he barely paid you any attention today either.
God, why was this so hard?
When it was just the two of us, time stopped, and I never wanted it to end. But when we were pretending to be nothing to each other, the walls started to close in around me and the fragile edges of my reality began to shake.
Like earlier, when I’d seen him in the hall with Lindsey. My first thought was they were flirting. She was holding his arm, and he was looking up at her intently. But then I realized he was glowering at her and relief had flooded me.
I didn’t want to bethatgirl: needy and obsessive. But I couldn’t pretend to be someone I wasn’t either. I got self-conscious, I overanalyzed things and needed reassurance. Because this: opening myself up to someone, trusting my heart to someone, was a big deal.
“So are you ready to tell me why you’ve been hanging out at practice?” I asked Peyton.
“How did you—”
“Aaron let it slip.”
“Traitor.” She pursed her lips. “I don’t know. It helps me think.”
“Watching guys run around a football field helps you think? And here was me thinking it might be because of a certain new assistant coach.”
“No! No, Lil. That isn’t it at all. It isn’t even about the team. I just like the fresh air. It helps clear my mind.”
“I’m worried about you,” I whispered.
“You don’t need to be. I’ll be okay, I promise.”
She rested her head on my shoulder as if those words would placate me. But I knew all about the lies we told others to make ourselves feel better.
