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I’m fine.
It’s fine.
Everything is fine.
I’d perfected that particular lie over the last couple of years.
When you were broken inside, you filled the cracks of your soul with half-truths and empty promises, stitching yourself together just enough that those around you wouldn’t notice unless they looked closely enough.
Until the lies became real… and the façade became impenetrable.
Peyton liked to use her issues as armor though. She strapped on a smile and waded into the battlefield, choosing action over inaction, even if her behavior at times was reckless and inappropriate. I preferred to hide behind my armor.
But not with Kaiden.
He’d blasted through my defenses when he’d kissed me that night at Lindsey’s back-to-school party, and now he was burrowed under my skin.
“Oh, here we go,” Ashleigh said, nudging me gently.
I settled in between my best friends and braced myself for the game.
Hoping that tonight was Kaiden’s night to shine.
* * *
The Raiders were kicking ass.Their game had been flawless, with Jenson scoring two touchdowns and converting almost every pass. It was the end of the first half, with two minutes left on the clock. Time to pull off another touchdown before the buzzer rang.
Jenson jogged into position, checking the field for his players. The whistle blew and Aaron snapped the ball to Jenson as he dropped back and located his wide receiver down field. But one of Levinson’s huge defensive players broke forward, flying at Jenson just as he made the pass. The ball whizzed through the air as the two of them crashed to the ground.
A collective gasp rang out around the stadium as Jenson lay there, writhing in agony.
“Oh shit,” Ashleigh hissed. “He’s hurt.”
The referee stopped the game and medics ran onto the field to attend to Jenson. My dad was right there beside them, ball cap in hand, rubbing his jaw as he watched them transfer his star player onto a gurney and carry him off field. The entire place clapped for their quarterback, the atmosphere somber and tense.
I clutched Peyton’s arm as Dad beckoned Kaiden over and roped his arm around his neck, talking directly to him. Kaiden nodded and then jogged into position.
Everyone knew who number seven was by now. Kaiden Thatcher, the boy from across the river. The son of Jason Ford’s high school nemesis.
A small town like Rixon didn’t forget, it never forgot. But tonight, they had no choice but to applaud their second-string quarterback as he commanded the field.
This time, his teammates didn’t freeze him out. They followed his orders, delivering the perfect play, delivering the ball right into the end zone.
“Touchdooooown.” The announcer yelled over the boom of the crowd. The sheer force of their applause rattled my bones, making me press closer to Ashleigh. I was used to it, knew to expect it even, but it still always caught me off guard.
Everyone around me was out of their seats, cheering and clapping. Even Ashleigh was on her feet. But I wasn’t out of my seat. I wasn’t smiling or silently cheering for Kaiden. Because this wasn’t about football to me. It was about the fact my dad, the first man I’d ever loved, had his arm around Kaiden’s neck and a smile on his face. It should have been a happy moment, your father and the boy you had major feelings for embracing like that, but I couldn’t help but feel jealous. Kaiden wanted football. He wanted to go off to college across the country and pursue a career in football. And my dad could help him make his dreams a reality.
Jenson’s untimely injury was Kaiden’s chance to shine, and he’d be a fool not to take it. So I guess it only made sense that I felt like I was losing him before my very eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Peyton whispered, as if she’d already figured it out.
“I’m happy for him,” I choked out, watching through glassy eyes as my dad and Kaiden walked off the field together.
I was happy for him.
I just wasn’t sure his happiness had room for me.
* * *
