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What the fuck?
My eyes narrowed and the sound died as she swallowed hard.
“Listen, Xander, I—”
“Don’t,” I hissed.
I didn’t want to do this.
Not now.
Not ever.
But Peyton had other ideas, as she said, “I just want to thank you.” Her quiet voice shook. “Is that such a crime?”
“I know what you were doing, Peyton,” I said slowly, calmly, making sure she absorbed every syllable.
“I-I don’t know what you mean,” the blood drained from her face. “It was an accident. I fell.”
My brow lifted, heavy with accusation. “We both know you didn’t fall.”
I’d watched her wade into the water. Watched as she lost her footing and disappeared under and didn’t so much as fight to break the surface.
“And now you’re down here again… you’ve got to realize how that looks.” My lips thinned with disapproval. “You should let me walk you home.”
She inhaled a sharp breath. “You think I… it’s not like that, I just… I needed some fresh air, I swear. I’m not—” Peyton’s eyes fluttered close as her hand drifted to her throat. When they opened again, she looked at me with such aching I felt it right to the pit of my stomach. “Please… you can’t tell anyone. They wouldn’t… no one would understand. I wasn’t trying to… do it. I just…”
“Relax,” I said. “I’m not going to tell anyone.” I don’t know why but there was something in her expression that made me believe her.
“You’re not?” Relief washed over her, and the faintest of smiles traced her lips.
“No. I’ve been there, kid. I wish I could tell you it gets easier. That the pain, the grief, subsides over time…” I trailed off, staring back out at the river. At nothing.
“But it doesn’t?” Peyton let out a thin, pained breath.
“It dims,” I added, “but it’s always there.”
“Do you come here a lot?” she asked.
“I like the view.” Dropping back on my elbows, I stared up at the sky again.
It was a bad idea, being out here with her. But something inside me, the part blotted out with my own grief and pain, wanted to throw her a lifeline. Besides, my brother had suggested I talk to her.
Fuck only knew she looked like she could use it.
“You’re right.” Peyton sank back into the grass and let out a soft sigh. “It is beautiful.”
Silence fell over us, neither of us rushing to fill the void. Peyton seemed lost in her own thoughts, and I was all too happy to drown in mine.
“I knew,” she finally spoke, her voice like a whisper on the cool breeze. “The second I got home and called out for her; I knew something wasn’t right.”
Shit.
She was going there.
“Listen, I’m not sure—”
But Peyton didn’t hear me. Or if she did, she didn’t care as she went on. “I searched the house for her and when I saw her, lying there in a pool of blood, it was like something fractured inside of me.”
