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Silence ticked by. Thick and heavy with the ghosts of our past.
“When I pulled Peyton from the river, I didn’t want to be the hero. It was the last thing I wanted. But when she looked at me, it was like for the first time, in a really long time, I could breathe. She made it quiet, Cam. The self-loathing, the bitterness and regrets, she made it all go away.”
“Fuck…” He breathed, running a hand down the back of his neck. “You love her.”
“Yeah, I think I do. And I’d planned to tell Jase, to come clean to you all because I didn’t want to jeopardize what I had with her. But then Huckley saw us, and everything went to shit… and I lost her. I fucking lost the best thing ever to happen to me.”
“I don’t know what to say.” He shook his head. “When I found out, all I kept thinking was if a guy your age even tried to come close to Ashleigh, I’d want to kill him with my bare hands. But you and her, it wasn’t normal circumstances.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“It doesn’t change the fact you went about it all the wrong way. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, I know. I’d feel the same. But honestly, I can’t say I’d do any of it differently.”
Because every second with Peyton had been worth it. Even when I was trying to fight it, even when I knew it was wrong, it was worth it.
“Have you told her?”
“Not to her face, no.”
His eyes clouded at that. “I know I should probably pull the older, wiser big brother card here, and part of me wants to, but… you’ve already lost so much.”
“We both have.”
“Yeah, but I have Hailee and the kids. I have a life, a family.” His expression fell. “I never meant to—”
“No, you’re not going to do this. You’re not going to swoop in and try to carry some of the burden of this. I made my choices. Me. It’s time I owned them.”
Cam rounded the breakfast counter and pulled me into his arms. “I’ll always be here for you, Xander. Even when we lose our way, I’ll always be here.”
“I know, Brother,” I hugged him tighter. “I know.”
