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“Yeah. Whether you want to admit it or not, your relationship was borne out of a dark place and those kinds of emotions can be intense and all-consuming. They can make people reckless.”
Mashing my lips together, I dropped my gaze. He was right, it had felt like a whirlwind.
A storm that neither of us could avoid.
“Time apart would let you sort through things; let you take a step back and see things with a different perspective.”
“You thought I’d get over him?”
“I had hoped you would, yes. And part of me was beginning to think that maybe you were. But I see you, Peyton. I see you day in and day out. You smile in all the right places and join in conversations and laugh, but I see the pain in your eyes. The longing.”
“I—”
“It’s okay, I’m not here to judge. Not this time. It’s my job to protect my girls, and that extends to you. It always will. But I also respect your right to make your own decisions. You’re eighteen now, you’ve graduated high school, and you’re working full-time, and I know you’re saving for your own place.”
There was a protective edge to his voice usually reserved for conversations between him and his daughters.
“If you can pay your own bills and stand on your own two feet, you can choose who you love. I won’t stand in the way of that, no matter how much it freaks me the hell out.”
“I-I don’t know what to say,” I stuttered, completely overwhelmed at his words.
“You miss him. I see it every time I look at you. And do you know what I saw when I went to visit him? I saw the same vacant look in his eyes.” Jason gave me a weak smile. “Sometimes love doesn’t play by the rules, Peyton. Sometimes it’s messy and raw and relentless. Sometimes it hurts us and sometimes it breaks us. But when you find the right kind of love, the love worth fighting for, you should never let go of that.”
He moved to the door. “Think about it.” His eyes went to the letter again. “Everyone deserves a second chance. If Fee hadn’t given me one or two over the years, fuck knows we wouldn’t be here now.”
“Thank you, Jason, for everything.” Tears tracked down my cheeks. “Felicity, Lily, and Poppy are lucky to have you.”
He winked and said, “I guess that makes you pretty damn lucky too.”
I smiled.
Yeah, I guess it did.
* * *
The next morning,I stood outside Xander’s room at The Happy Days Motel, wondering if I’d made a big mistake coming here.
His letter had ripped open the fragile stitches in my heart, but it was Jason’s words that had given me the courage to come here. I owed it to myself, to the part of me that knew I hadn’t dreamed up every kiss and touch and stolen moment, to hear him out.
But the second I arrived outside his room, fear had gripped me in a chokehold, stopping me from knocking on the door.
“Ugh, this is ridiculous,” I muttered to myself, forcing myself to take a step closer just as the door swung open.
“Peyton,” Xander stared at me wide-eyed.
“I… hey.”
“I was just about to head over to Jase’s.”
“You were?”
“Yeah. When you didn’t text, I thought…” Relief washed over him. “You’re here.”
“I’m here.”
“Do you want to come in?”
“I…” Did I?
