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“I haven’t talked to them about it yet. It feels weird, ya know? They took me in, and they’ve been so great… but I don’t want to be a burden.”
“Peyton, they don’t think that. Not for a second.”
“Yeah, maybe. But it feels like I need to make a plan and find a way forward. I’m almost eighteen, and I have nothing…”
“Jase is one of the best guys I know. He’ll do right by you.”
“I know. But he shouldn’t have to.” My chest tightened. “I’m not his responsibility.”
“Just don’t make any rash decisions without talking to them,” Xander said.
“I won’t.”
“Are you getting cold?” he added when a shiver went through me.
“Not really. I’ve grown accustomed to it. I spend a lot of time out here.”
A shadow passed over his face. “I know you’ve been through a lot, but it’s your senior year. You don’t get a second shot at that. Trust me, I know.”
“Please,” I gawked at him, “don’t act like I can just forget everything that’s happened. My life has never been a walk in the park. I didn’t grow up with a family who loved me. I’ve always been fiercely independent. I’ve always…” I sucked in a shuddering breath. “I’ve always had to rise above my shitty circumstances. And I did it because I knew I deserved more. Something deep inside me refused to accept that was my lot. But finding her like that… it changed me, Xander. It changed me and now I don’t know how to find myself again.”
Tears burned the backs of my eyes and I swallowed roughly. I hadn’t wanted to break down in front of him, but I was so tired of holding everything in.
“Peyton, I—”
“It’s fine.” I held out a hand, unable to look at him as I desperately tried to dry the silent tears rolling down my cheeks. “I just need a minute.”
But the words only made me cry harder.
“Ssh, come here.” Xander wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his body. Without thinking, I twisted my hands into his hoodie, soaking up the comfort he was offering me.
“Don’t cry,” he said, his voice cracked. “Please, don’t cry.”
“I just… why? Why would she do that?” It was the question that haunted me.
Had she really hated me that much?
“I know it’s hard to believe, but her pain and desperation, her decision to… end things,” he choked out the words, “probably had very little to do with how she felt about you.”
I lifted my face to his, inhaling another shuddering breath. “Is that your attempt at making me feel better? Because you might need to work on your delivery.” The faintest of smiles traced my lips.
Xander smiled back, and the sight of him made my heart flutter. “There she is.”
I didn’t dare ask who he was referring to. I didn’t want to break the spell we were both under.
I nuzzled his neck again, inhaling his scent. He smelled so good. So manly and clean. Before I could stop myself, my lips skimmed his throat. His entire body shuddered, an involuntary moan rumbling in his chest. I smiled, feeling a bolt of confidence go through me as I brushed my lips against his neck again.
Xander stiffened. “Peyton…”
“Sorry,” I whispered, my cheeks burning, unsure of what to say or do now.
I shouldn’t have done that.
God, I shouldn’t have—
“Hey,” he said quietly, coaxing me out from his chest. “It’s okay.”
It was?
