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“Mami,la fotoof Massimo and me, why do you still have it there?”
“Porque me gusta,” she responds, matter-of-factly.
“I like it too, but we’re not together anymore.”
“Have you seen Massimo?” my father asks.
“Not yet,” I lie. They don’t need to know he was at my office earlier today. All it would do is require me to explain things I can’t tell them yet.
“You know,” he says, “I never told you how I felt about what you did, leaving Massimo in secret. You never wanted to hear it, always made some excuse about it because you weren’t living here or were in law school, and I didn’t pressure you. But now, you’re going to hear it—no more excuses. We disapproved of it. You never told us why you did it or what happened. The truth is, the reason doesn’t matter. It was wrong. He came here asking for our help, but you shut us out too because you know what I would’ve said had you told me your plans. You know I would’ve helped him find you. Massimo is a good man, and he didn’t deserve what you did to him. And it’s not the way we raised you. I hope you understand the damage you caused, the hurt you inflicted, and you seek forgiveness,” he lectures.
My father is staring at me, disappointment in his eyes. He waits for me to respond to his admonishment.
“Perdóname, Papi. I’m sorry for hurting you—” I turn to my mother “—and you.” She extends her hand across the table and softly pats my arm.
“It’s not us you should apologize to,” my father says before drinking from his beer bottle.
Despite being thirty-five, I’m left feeling like a petulant child because of my father’s words.
CHAPTER 16
Heart’s Desire
MARIALENA
The Next Day
“WHAT’S UP, NATALIA?” Iask when she buzzes my office.
“Mr. Gentile is on line one for you. Would you like to speak to him, or should I take a message?”
“I’ll speak to him,” I say, smiling. I look at my watch, and it reads 4:28 p.m. I’ll be seeing him in less than two hours, and I have butterflies in my stomach.
“Hi, Mr. Gentile. How can I help you?” I ask in a low, breathy voice.
“Lena, my mother passed away.”
“Oh, Massimo, I’m so sorry.”
“I’m. I. Fuck! Lena, my mother died,” he croaks out.
I don’t know what to say to him. I want to hug him, hold him, console him. But alas, I have no right to do any of those things anymore. Massimo was extremely close to her, especially since he didn’t have a great relationship with his father. Because of that, I grew close to her during the time we were together. She was so caring and had a huge heart, took me in as one of her own as soon as Massimo introduced me to the family. She was the matriarch, always trying to keep everyone united. It saddens me to think she’s gone and what it means for them.
“What can I do?” I ask.
“I’m at the Taverna in the North End. Can you come here?”
“Um,” I begin, hesitant to say “yes.”
“Don’t worry about it, Lena.”
“No, it’s okay. I’m sorry, I’m just shocked by the news. Of course, I’ll stop by. Be there soon.”
“Okay,” he says before the line goes silent.
I place the phone receiver back onto the cradle, and my hand lingers there. I’m stunned at hearing that my almost mother-in-law passed. I loved her and will never get the opportunity to apologize to her for the harm I inflicted upon her and her family. Life is unpredictable and can change in the blink of an eye. Death is always a stark reminder to not take anyone or anything for granted.
My heart hurts for Massimo. I haven’t lost either of my parents yet, but the loss of a parent is devastating. Massimo always tried to keep up a tough appearance throughout our relationship, to not let emotions affect him, at least publicly. But as our relationship progressed, he allowed his feelings to show. He started opening up with me, sharing the turmoil that plagued him, the anger he carried, letting me see inside his hard exterior.
