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“Because you were born and raised in a country that lets you live free.Cosas asínopasan aquí,” he tells me, and pushes my curls behind my ear. Those things not existing in this country is precisely why I’d never imagine it could happen anywhere. Listening to Amaury’s harrowing tale of how they risked their lives on the open ocean makes me realize I was lucky to have grown up how I did.
“Your story is incredible.”
He shrugs. “I no really see it that way. It was what we needed to do.” He starts toying with the ends of the shoelaces again, his brow furrowed, a sullen look across his face. He’s probably lost in thought about his family in Cuba. I shouldn’t have asked so many questions.
“Thank you for sharing,” I say, extending my hand out to let my fingers skim the stubble growing along his jawline. “I can’t imagine what you went through, or how hard it is to be here without your family.”
“Some days are not so bad, other days I feel lonelysin mi familia. The friends from Cuba are like family,pero no es lo mismo.” I reach for his hand, intertwine my fingers with his and squeeze. He reciprocates.
“I had a great time tonight,” I continue. “I’m glad I decided to come out.”
“You no want to come tonight?”
“It’s not that I didn’t want to, I was hesitant.”
“¿Por qué?”
Why? What a loaded question! Our night has been heavy already, no need to burden him with my baggage too. Isn’t there some rule about not talking about exes when you’re on a date? Well, I definitely don’t want to talk about mine, primarily because I try to forget all the harm he caused me, and how I allowed myself to be manipulated. But also because I don’t want Amaury to take pity on me.
I raise my shoulder in uncertainty. “I’m a bit shy.”
“Shy?” He shakes his head. “You are not shy.”
“Maybe shy isn’t the right word,” I say. “Once I know you, I’m not shy. Maybe introverted is a better way to describe myself.”
“Bueno, I hope you open up with me. We can start by doing what I been dreaming about for months.” He leans in, his lips hovering above mine. He hesitates, waiting for me to give him the green light. I lift my hand, rest it at the nape of his neck and pull him to me, letting our lips crash. The stubble along his jaw scratches at my skin, intensifying our make out session.
Our kisses are slow and intense, and I lie back, Amaury following my lead and extending himself to lie down next to me, all while not letting our lips separate. His large hand grips my hip and squeezes, shooting a tingling sensation through my body.
He takes my bottom lip between his teeth and begins softly sucking, savoring as he explores. His hand drops to my leg, his fingers tracing the seam along the side of the pant leg, slowly dragging them up and down.
My heart is thumping in my chest and heat is emanating from my core. I feel like ripping my clothes off but know I can’t. For one, we’re on a public beach. Besides, it’s our first date and I promised myself I’d take it slow—it’s a promise I’m keeping. We hear voices off in the distance and thoughts of Carmine flash through my mind, causing me to put space between us. He lifts his head to search the area before returning his penetrating gaze to mine, stoking the fire deep in my belly.
“Eres única,” he whispers, before dropping kisses along my neck. Suddenly a phone starts vibrating and Amaury stuffs his hand in his pocket and silences it before dropping it onto the old sheet.
“What time is it?” I ask.
“Almost eleven,” he responds, in his thick Cuban accent while looking at his watch.
“I think we should call it a night. I have to get up early for work,” I tell him, somewhat reluctantly. It’s my way of separating myself from him and keeping my promise to myself. I’m suddenly not in the same headspace anymore after Carmine creeped his way into my memories.
“Está bien, muñeca.” His lips cover mine and then he grazes my cheek before hopping to his feet.
We walk hand in hand to my car, Amaury’s finger drawing circles on my palm, something he’s done each time our hands are linked. I wonder if it’s something he does without thinking.
“Why do you do that, draw circles on my palm?” I ask.
“Your skin feels so soft in my rough hands,” he says. “Y porque quiero devorarte.”
I’d be lying if I said I don’t want him to devour me, which is exactly why I need to leave.
“That’s me, over there,” I say, changing the subject and pointing to my car, a red MINI Cooper with a white top and sunroof. I’ve had Anja for three years. I love her but have been thinking about buying a new car. It’s one of the last ties to my old life and if I’m starting anew, it makes sense to get rid of the old car as well. I need to do everything possible to ensure Carmine never finds me. Soon, I’ll make it happen.
“Red car. Red scooter. Red sneakers. I imagineque también tienes fuego en el corazón,” he tells me, before pulling me flush to him and crushing our lips together. I wouldn’t say I have fire in my heart, but when I’m near him, my heart feels like it’s on fire.
My hands rest on Amaury’s chest and I put space between us, shifting my eyes up to meet his. His green eyes are dark tonight, I can see the lust burning at their rims. “I had a great time tonight, Amaury. Thank you for dinner, and for sharing so much about yourself.”
“Sí, next timete toca a ti.” He caresses my chin. “You have to tell me about you. You no tell me anything tonight.” He smirks.
