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I grind my hips against his. “Please.”
“Say it, Ann.” His voice is desperate, filled with a husky desire that only increases my desire.
And I know... I know I can just say the words. I can speak them, and he will fuck me, and it will be glorious. Divine, even. A memory that will keep us both warm even on the coldest nights.
But I can’t say the words. I just don’t know.
"Just... forget about that right now," I say, panting each word, stroking his cock through his pants, reminding him of what we could have.
“Rayne can be your mate.” His voice is laced with a desperation that mirrors the one in my soul. “But is it possible that we are, too?”
I want to say yes. I want it so bad. But it’s wrong. I can’t because I just don’t know. "Dusk, don't. Please, don't ask me this right now."
To my shock, he pulls back, hard. Turning away from me so fast that my shaky legs almost give out from under me.
I don’t know when my shirt went askew or how. I know nothing except that I’m bereft without his touch. Every breath is hard and shallow, every beat of my heart labored.
“I'm sorry.” These are the only words I can speak.
And I don’t have time to speak another. I barely have time to straighten my clothes before the elder Auero is standing at the entrance to the cave.
He’s old, although I can’t say how many years he has under his belt. His hair and mustache are equally white and he stands with a hunched back and eyes pointed at me. He’s the kind of character who would be equally welcomed in Mordor or Hogwarts.
His voice is gravel. “Ann of the light fae.”
"Yes?" I don't know what to say. My gaze goes to Dusk, but he has his back turned to me. And I don't care about Auero or what he has to say, I just want to speak to Dusk. I want to know that he's okay and that whatever just fell apart between us can still be fixed.
“Tell me about the light you summoned. Tell me how you did it.” These aren’t gentle commands. He wants to know, and I should be fearful of whatever consequence comes when I don’t have an answer, but I can’t. Because that kind of power, it’s feral. I can’t control it, I know that, and I'm afraid that one day it’s going to control me.
I don’t even know if it was me controlling it. Not really. Because if it was me, why didn't I have this ability before? Why didn't I use it when the academy was under attack?
I shake my head. “I don’t know. I just wanted to protect my men... and the light came.”
He sighs, disappointed. Disillusioned. Unhappy.Sorry, big fella. The truth is the truth.
He looks at me, from my hair to my toes, and when his eyes find my face again, they aren’t happier or kinder. “If the shadow king attacks again, if he brings another army, we won’t make it unless the prophecy is fulfilled.”
Oh, the prophecy.I sigh. This is an old argument. Everyone here seems to believe that a mating bond between me and my men is needed to secure the lives of the shadow beasts outside the shadow realm, to win this war. It’s a lot of responsibility to hand to me. My sigh is my only response.
“Ann, we have some time before the shadow king regroups and builds his forces, but the next time he comes, it will be the end. The last time.” He eyes me again, one brow up this time. It’s a look Onyx has mastered, and now I don’t wonder where he learned it. “Are you ready to create the mate bond with Dusk, Phantom, and Onyx? To be the savior of the shadow Solemus?”
I’m not. I can’t. The slightest shake of my head is enough to make Dusk huff and puff like he wants to blow the cave down.
“Her true mate is back from the dead. He’s in Adrik’s body.” Dusk is quite the news anchor and the words ring in my ears. I can’t imagine how it sounds to the elder, but his face blanches, so I don’t really have to ask.
“Does this mean you aren’t going to fight with us against the shadow king?”
I don’t have an answer. I don’t want to answer him about this or the prophecy because the future, mine specifically, is uncertain.
Auero turns, shaking his head as he walks out.
His frustration is a fine commentary, fitting to my very existence.
But when I look at Dusk, he simply goes to his bedroll, lies down, and turns his back to me. The urge to lay with him, to touch him, is there, but I push the feeling down. Instead, I wrap my arms around myself and sit against the wall, feeling lost.
Figuring out who I love, who I care for, who I feel a mate bond with is more than enough pressure. But doing it while being told that my decision might impact the fate of these people and the world itself? Well, I'm going to need some sleep if I have any hope of untangling this mess.
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