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"You should do that, Zeal," I chuckled, aware I was talking to an empty room. "Make it so that when he opens his pants, people can't help but touch. He'd love it."
Then I sighed. God-marks were always indicative of a person's worthiness in their Path. The bigger the pattern, the bigger our god's goals for that person. Nari's arms were one example. Her mentor, Amerlee, supposedly had lace all across her stomach and down the inside of her thighs. I'd asked Jamik about his once, wondering what I should expect, and he'd actually told me.
His pattern was more of a triangle. Wider at the shoulders, it narrowed as it got lower to nothing more than a line down the base of his spine. He said the marks on his arms had grown on his Choosing Day, though. I hoped mine would.
It would be easy to check.
Pulling myself off the bench, I headed over to the water's edge and knelt. I wasn't quite ready to submerge myself, but it would be nice to know if Zeal thought I'd improved. With my right arm, I reached down into the water, watching as dark lines were revealed on my skin.
My breath dropped from my mouth hard enough to make my body heave. They were the same thick marks, but they only stopped at the water's edge - in the middle of my forearm. That was more than I'd expected, so I shifted my legs a bit, and pushed my arm in deeper. The inside edge of the pool had a lip, probably meant for sitting, and when my hand met it, most of my bicep was submerged...
And covered in black.
My lace now reached higher than Nari's on that side! I pulled my arm out and stared at it, dumbfounded. "Please don't let my Path be Obligation," I begged. "Not unless theirs is too?"
Trust me.
In my head, the voice sounded like Nari's had that night in the hall. I didn't doubt at all that it was from Zeal. "I'm scared," I told the room.
I will take care of you.
"But at what price?" I asked.
A feeling of warmth washed over me.I promise you will be happy to pay it. I need you to take care of the golden child. He needs someone wise enough to hold him back, but brave enough to push him forward. Your price is to chase him, always one step behind.
I chuckled. "It's part of his charm, believe it or not. But what about Nariana?"
She is not your problem.
"Can she be?" I asked. "Zeal, I love that woman as much as that boy. If you had to ask me to choose before I could come out, I'd sit in this room forever. What is the price for her?"
Are we making deals now?
"Can we?" I asked.
There was no way to explain it, but I was pretty sure I'd just made a god laugh. That in itself was humbling. My eyes turned to my new lace, and I slowly traced the lines. The same ones that were said to be a sign of Obligation.
"Why Obligation marks?" I asked, hoping he'd answer again.
Because we're making deals, giant. Do you not feel Obligation? Is that not why you asked about the girl? That Path is often ignored, but it's also one of the most important. I will offer you Obligation in exchange for both of them. Would you call that a fair trade?
"Yes!" I said, raising my voice toward the ceiling. "Without hesitation, it is."
You bargain poorly, giant. Remember that it is not always wise to show your hand.
"I simply have nothing to hide from my god," I told him. "I just don't know how I'm supposed to take care of both of them if I'm on the Path of Obligation."
The marks on your arms are for her. They will not be the only ones. Bathe in my tears, giant. You say you trust me, then prove it. Just know that when you walk into that water, the candle will fail. For you, this is the price I will charge. I will give you them both, but you must wait to see.
"There's another candle over there," I pointed out. "Am I not supposed to light it?"
So loyal,Zeal teased me - and Iknewhe was teasing.But do you know how terrifying the dark truly is? Pure, complete, total darkness. It makes many freeze in place. I will give you what you ask, but the cost is to be plunged into total darkness and not to let it consume you. To walk in it without giving in. To lead them when they cannot lead themselves and become the shield they can hide behind when they can take no more. Is it a price you are willing to pay?
I stood, looking out into the water. "I know you aren't talking about the candle. I also know that I'd do it anyway. I would never leave them in darkness alone. Not physical, not mental, or any other kind that exists."
Then bathe in my tears, giant, and find your place in the darkness. It is not at the back. A shield goes first, but it does not lead.
I took the first step into the water, and the candle flickered again. With the second, it began to dim. As my hips dipped under the surface, I looked down, hoping I wouldn't see lines appear, but the candle went out.
