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"What do you mean, youdecidedto show up for your Choosing?" I asked, unable to imagine such a thing.
"I got approval to leave the temple for an extended break just before the end of my tenth year," he explained. "The High Priest said I could return for the next Choosing. The one with your class. He also warned me that if I didn't show up, my marks would fade, and I'd no longer be welcome in the temple." Talin ducked his head. "I couldn't find the downside."
"So why did you come back?" I asked.
He pushed to his feet, closing the distance between us. "Because the moment I felt your body around mine, I realized that there was nothing wrong with temptation. I spent my years as a student thinking I was bound for the Path of the Word. A Path that made me feel like a puppet. Like I was supposed to sell people snake oil and tell them it would cure all their ills, and then I spent the night with a woman and realized that while passion might not fix everything, it certainly could make it a little better." He stopped close enough to touch me. "I decided I was meant for the Path of the Body. I ended up with the Path of Protection."
"And the highest price to pay," I breathed, wanting to touch him in reassurance, but terrified of what would happen if I did.
Talin reached up for my face instead. "I'm ok with it. I didn't reallywantthe Path of the Word. I thought Ihadto follow it, and would rather leave the temple than do that. I can take the pain. I just needed something worth fighting for."
"Me?" I asked in disbelief. "It was one night!"
His eyes dropped to my lips. "That feeling of making sure you were safe with me?" His voice dropped to a sultry rumble. "I took care of you. I loved every second of it, but it wasn't you specifically. In truth, it was me. You made me feel like I..." His eyes slipped closed, and he pressed his forehead to mine. "Like I was your hero."
I let my palm find his chest, feeling his heart beating beneath it. "I'm scared to touch you." The words were a whisper.
He pressed his hand over mine. "I'm fine."
"But I don't want to make you hurt. I've heard that it's almost impossible to do anything for the first week."
His fingers caressed the back of my hand. "They tell us to wear only the robes, and only when in public. Pants will rub. Sleeping will be difficult. The Priest of Obligation who secured mine said he recommended I spend a few days alone, relearning how to move. To plan extra time to get somewhere."
I nodded, just a small jiggle of my head against his. "We'll take care of you."
"That's backwards." He chuckled, leaning back, but not far enough to move away. "Will you tell me something, though? If you already have a partner - a rare thing so soon after Choosing - then where do I fit in? It's not uncommon for guardians and wards to meet only after our Paths are set, but we usually get the years of initiate training to bond."
"I don't know," I admitted.
"Ok," he said. "Then where wouldyoulike me to fit in your life? Should I be the chummy pal who listens when your beautiful man annoys you? Would you prefer I'm the man who reminds you that you're the most beautiful woman he's ever seen? Can I be the secret yet innocent romance you can run to when you're lonely?"
"I don't know!" I said again.
"Oh, don't be coynow," he said, annoyance in his voice. "You were not shy the other night. Not at all. Look, your partner isn't here. There's no one listening but me, and I have a ring on my dick that makes me the safest guy you'll ever know. How about you just tell me what you imagined in a guardian before you stepped into that room?"
"I didn't pick a Path!" I told him. "I never saw myself with a guardian, and I always thought I'd end up with Action. That Wraythe, Eladehl, and I would make this work somehow, since we had so far. You weren't supposed to be in the picture."
"And yet you fucked me instead of either one of them," he pointed out.
"Because I didn't want to choose!"
A little smile spread across his lips. "Oh, it's like that, is it? So why did this other guy get paired to your partner instead of you?"
"Because they're soulmates," I tried to explain.
His eyes narrowed. "Lovers?"
"No." I closed my eyes for a second and sighed - only because I really wanted to scream. "Eladehl likes guys. His guardian doesn't. They're more like partners in crime, but the kind who don't get jealous of each other."
From the look on his face, he wasn't quite keeping up. "Wait. Your lover prefers men?"
"He likes both, and pretty evenly."
Slowly, Talin began to nod. "And here you are, trying to keep both of them happy, and forgetting that I'm not theirs. I'm yours. You're the only woman I've ever been with, Nari. The onlypersonwho will ever have my body. So, believe me when I say that I have no intention of being the odd man out. I'm also not about to let you fade into their shadow. See, I'm playing catch-up here, but there's one thing I can't overlook.Youare the one covered in god-lace. So how about you think about it for a day or so, and figure out what kind of guardian you'd like to have."
He turned, making his way out of the room. I would've said he stormed, but even though he didn't wince, Talin was clearly feeling the ring with each step. I trailed after him, trying to decide if I should be apologizing, but he wrenched the door open and left, not bothering to close it behind him.
"I'm sorry," I said, when I reached the hall.
