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He didn’t answer.
“I’m leaving,” I snapped, trembling as I felt my heart pounding.
“You should know something else too, before you try to go off on your own.”
“What?” My fists clenched briefly. “Am I also the secret cousin of a goblin prince?”
“No,” he said, deadpan. “Your real name isn’t Olivia. Your mom changed it, along with her own.”
I inhaled deeply, heaving out my chest. I couldn’t take any more surprises. “What is it?”
“Seraphina.”
Shred by shred, I felt my identity slip away. “I want to get out of here,” I shouted, the room suddenly feeling too small. “Take me back,” I demanded, needing to be away from this place.
So we walked outside, onto the bustling streets of the city of nightmares, and he cradled my head against his chest as we spun into the air, his wings extending out, flapping wind, circling leaves around us. The last thing I wanted was to be in his arms, but in a world of darkness, he was my only ally.
His confession swam in my thoughts as I nestled into the vampire who was only using me for what I could give him as we flew over the city, a place which should have been mine, once upon a time.
Lost princess. Heir to the throne. Daughter of the vampire king.
FOURTEEN
I sat upright, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, dragging the skin underneath, which was raw. Sunlight arrowed through the crack in the drapes, shining a warm light onto the floorboards. I stepped out into it, basking in the warmth on my skin, but felt no joy from it. The emptiness had returned—a place beyond sadness.
After the adrenaline left me shaking when we’d arrived back last night, I found myself plunged into a nightmare-fueled sleep, waking up constantly while trying to figure out how my life had ended up this way.
Everything I knew was a lie, and I couldn’t find much to live for now that I’d survived the auction. If it wasn’t for my mom being locked away, I wouldn’t bother even getting out of bed. Most of the night, I prayed behind closed eyes for the gods to take my soul, so all this would be over and I’d be safe. I assumed Draven would be there waiting for me because from what I saw yesterday, there was only a little hope he had survived this kingdom until now.
“Knock knock,” Erianna said as she stepped in, startling me. “I brought you coffee.”
She placed the mug of swirling brown on the nightstand and flipped her black braids over her shoulder. “Seb told me you know about your father.”
I slumped back on my bed, pushing myself against the cold wall, happy to feel anything, even if it was a splash of discomfort. “Yes.”
“How do you feel?”
“Not overly surprised. My life’s already terrible, so why not throw in the fact that everyone I know has lied to me.”
She sat on the chair, her gaze fixated on mine. “You’ve been through a lot. I’m prepared to go and kill Achais for taking you, then I’ll go after Hamza.”
I knew it was all words. Hamza, I was confident, was untouchable. Still, I appreciated the sentiment. “Don’t bother.”
Worry lines deepened around her mouth. “Olivia…”
“Why not use my real name? Seraphina, or whatever.” I didn’t know why I was being so harsh. She was the only person who I still somewhat liked.
“I wanted to tell you the truth, but you were already struggling with your mom being gone and searching for your friend, and then your ex-boyfriend, that this felt like too much.”
Tears brimmed in my eyes. “Draven’s probably dead.” Hearing the words out loud cut deeper than a knife. She didn’t answer, which only grew the ache in my chest. “I wish I was too.”
She stood, fast enough to give me whiplash, and was holding my hands before I could take my next breath. “Don’t go there.” Her deep, earthy eyes glossed over. “I know how you feel and that pain that just won’t go away, but I promise you, life is so much more than the way you feel right now.”
“Everything hurts, and it all just feels pointless. What do I have to wake up for?”
She rubbed my arm, her calluses rough against my skin. “I know how you feel, trust me. We live in a world shrouded in secrets and lies, but it’s okay.” A glisten swam in her irises. “It’s why we’re here. Without all that suffering, our existence here wouldn’t be necessary, and we may as well already be dead, with the gods and live amongst the stars, but we’re not. We’re here, and that’s because we have so much left to learn, to grow.”
I looked down at my blanket, nestling in it for warmth. “I wish I could see it that way.”
