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Chapter 26

Addie

Iwoke up to scorching heat.

For a moment, my incoherent mind couldn’t remember where I was or how I had gotten there. Was I back in my room at the resort? D.O.D really had to invest in new air conditioning. After a moment of my inner inarticulate ramblings, the memories came flooding back, nearly drowning me in their intensity.

Liz.

Ryder.

Fallon.

Those were the only names I could think of. Names and faces. Not actions. Not words. My mind couldn’t handle relieving all of the details, so it kept everything broad.

But that still didn’t explain why I was so hot.

Twisting in what appeared to be a bed, I discovered my answer.

I was surrounded by men. Well, only two men, but still.

Ryder slept on one side of me, snoring softly, our legs intertwined. Calax was on the other side of me, his arm resting gently on my waist.

His eyes were open, staring at me with love and relief. Before I could ask him how long he’d been awake (and staring at me like a creeper, I might add), he crushed his lips to mine. I moaned at the taste of him.

“Wait,” I whispered, as something occurred to me. Calax pulled back at once. His expression was so tender, so loving, that I wanted nothing more than to burrow inside of him and forget the last couple of days. But there was someone else to think of and something that needed to be understood by both of them. “Ryder...”

I saw the flash of pain in Calax’s eye, and I hated myself for putting it there. I could see that he was retreating from me. Not physically, at least not yet, but mentally. He loved me, and I had broken his heart.

He had to understand.

“I love you,” I blurted, stunned by my own forwardness. Calax blinked. Apparently, he hadn’t expected me to say that. A joyous, wondrous expression crossed his handsome face, and then he was kissing me again. He was showing me all of his love, and I, in return, was gifting him mine. I had thought the words would feel unnatural, that I wouldn’t be able to say them, but they felt so right. I was unsure about a lot of things in life, but my feelings for this mountain of a man wasn’t one of them. “Wait!” I said again, slightly louder. I quickly worked to lower my voice. The last thing I wanted to do was wake Ryder. He needed his sleep, both because of his mental injuries and his physical ones.

“I was so scared, Baby. I thought that I had lost you...again. Do you have any idea how much I love you?” His fingers so incredibly gentle, he brushed my hair behind my ear. I shivered delicately at the sensations his mere touch created. His calloused hand caressed the bruises on my face, tracing the curve of my scar. If I thought he would look at me any different, I was mistaken. He still regarded me as if I was the most perfect woman to have ever existed.

I didn’t deserve him.

“I love you, Callie. So fucking much. But...” Tears filled my eyes. Nodding towards Ryder, I said, “I love him too.”

I watched Calax’s jubilant expression shudder, like blinds being drawn. That only made me cry harder.

“You don’t understand,” I sobbed. “I love you, and I love him. I don’t know how it happened, and I’m so sorry. I’m a horrible person. I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me, but you need to understand. I don’t love one more than the other. I love you both the same. You each hold my heart in different ways. God, I disgust myself. I’m so sorry.” I rubbed at the snot and tears dripping down my face. I hated myself right then.

For hurting Calax, the man I loved.

For inevitably hurting Ryder as well.

I was going to lose them both, I knew that, but they deserved my honesty.

Calax’s expression was still guarded, but his eyes were soft as they grazed my face.

“You love us both?”

“I’m so sorry,” I cried.

I felt lips on my hair, and I jumped, startled. The movement brought about another round of pain, but I quickly smothered the whimper that threatened to break free.

Ryder was behind me, his good arm wrapped tightly around my waist.

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