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“I would say it looks lived in,” he replied.
They followed me into the sitting room, where I removed my boots and swung my feet onto the sofa, sighing as my feet at long last were permitted to rest.
An hour later, I looked up to see Jude watching me, lurking in one corner. He had held me, kissed my body, and whispered words of praise in my ear but ultimately denied himself. Even now his eyes were deep pools of loss and desire. I gestured him to come close. “Sit.”
He sunk onto the other end of the sofa, hands on his powerful thighs.
I rolled onto my knees and shuffled closer until I could touch his cheek, watch his eyelids flutter close. Understanding wrapped around me. He’d been so young and impulsive. Once he’d set down one path he could not imagine how he could go back or find a different way. Hadn’t I been like him? Making choices for people and left to live with the consequences of my actions.
“Do you forgive yourself?” I asked. Though if the question was for him or for me I could not tell.
“How can I?”
“I do not know but when you have forgiven yourself, tell me.”
“It isn’t about forgiveness, Pol.”
I rolled my shoulders and crossed my legs, watching him. “You don’t regret what you did. Just that you betrayed me in doing it.”
“Do you forgive me?”
“I understand you. And that is better than forgiveness. For if our positions had been reversed, I cannot say I wouldn’t have done the same.”
He grabbed my ankle. “Thank you.”
And like that, so unexpectedly, we slipped back into ourselves.
Puck cameto tell us that it was time for dinner. I wrinkled my nose as I caught the scent of sweat. “I must change.”
Retreating to my room, I sat in front of my dressing mirror and turned my head this way and that Lord Chester’s teasing the other week had hit too close to the mark. I’d become just another Hartwell omega. Respectable, impeccable breeding which put use beyond reproach. The wildest of my sisters was now a duchess, lauded and toasted for her bold political mind. Beatrice’s talents as an artist had seen her work hung in the Royal Academy. And I who had rejected, killed, and repulsed alphas now returned to society under the protection of three alphas. They might not have lineages acknowledged by the society but none would dare say they were anything but exceptional.
“What do you think of love?”
I nearly fell off the bench at the sound of Puck’s voice.
“Love?” I shook my head, hedging. “I don’t think that will be possible.”
“What then?” Puck perched on the my bed. He was within reach, yet the gulf between us seemed infinite.
I curled in on myself and rocked back and forth.
“Hush. Your mate is here.” He tugged me into his side.
Though I looked at him, I was blind. “Mate.”
“Yes.”
“Why?” I asked, tears gathering at the corners of my eyes. “Why? Why would you want an apex omega?”
His side pressed to mine, then his arm around my shoulders, drawing me closer until my head rested above his heart. “Apex omega, alpha, beta. Your designation means nothing. You inspire an indescribable peace in this wild world.”
“Peace?” It made my head spin he would associate that word with me.
“Yes. Oberon is the one who sparks fire in your blood. Jude has the dubious position of your first love.”
I huffed but I was too lost in his fantasy that I didn’t protest. He didn’t speak for a minute. “And you?” I prompted.
“We are one. Our imperfect, jagged edges fitting together so perfectly. Sarah was the glue binding us together. This.” He stroked the still raw bite on my mate gland. “This was the final lock on our connection.”
