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“Go. I have work soon.”
I shooed them out of the door, and when I closed it on their twisted expressions, I sat on the floor and cried.
Working at the casino wasn’t exactly my dream job, but people tipped well. The men that would glance at me sideways would earn an extra shimmy of my hips as I passed, and I’d invariably earn a few extra bucks. I brought drinks to all sorts, and directed patrons around the establishment. My boss grinned whenever he saw me—I knew I was doing my job well, it wasn’t like I had somewhere else I’d rather be. I thought of Julian and Hannah a lot though, their eyes sad and pleading. I couldn’t be that girl though, the one that they could slight and then ask to return. I was no one’s punching bag.
I brought a couple of cocktails to a blackjack table, and when I turned around, Julian was there. His eyes were dark with sadness, and I immediately washed my face of all expression towards him. I plastered on my tip-earning smile, and dragged him to a back room.
“What are you doing here?” I hissed as soon as we were out of sight, “Do you want to get me fired?”
I should have felt ridiculous. I was walking around in a tight, beaded dress, with flapper-like tassels brushing my mid-thigh. My hair was floating down my back, curled and hair sprayed into obedience. Julian looked dashing. He was wearing a white button up shirt and gray suit pants. His top two buttons were undone, letting me see the hollow of his throat, giving me a perfect view of his Adam’s apple as it bobbed.
“Come home, Evelyn,” he begged. “I love you.”
I love you.
I wanted to say it back, but all I could do was scream it in my head. My love for him hadn’t magically disappeared, but that didn’t mean I could give into the want. Not this time.
“I’m not going to come between you and Hannah,” I declared.
“No, you’re not,” Julian responded. “Hannah and I just spent a week in an airport hotel, waiting to be able to fly out. We talked about a lot of things. Namely, we talked about her. She doesn’t hate you, Evelyn. She lashed out because she was angry about a lot of different things.”
I shook my head.
“That’s exactly it. If she could lash out and say the things she said once, why couldn’t she do it again? I really believed she was my friend.”
Julian bit his lip.
“I know she said some awful things, but I also know that’s not her. That was largely my fault. I spent so many years bottling up my feelings, that she did the same. When they came out, it was hurtful. I’ve already told her that counseling is a good idea, and she’s going to look into it as soon as we’re back. We need you back too, Evelyn. It’s not home without you.”
I could believe him. Everything in me was swaying towards him so strongly that I could have fallen into his arms, but there was still that girl, the one who had lived in Utah, screaming that no one could be trusted.
“I’ve tried second chances before,” I said, simply, “And they never work out.”
“Evelyn,” Julian begged, “What can I do to make you believe that this, you and I, even Hannah, are for real?”
“Nothing,” I said, and left him standing there.
Chapter Twenty
Julian
My heart broke as I watched her walk away.
I could have gotten angry. I could have yelled at her about how she’d run away at the slightest sign of trouble, but I couldn’t. I knew exactly what she’d been through, so I couldn’t very well blame her for darting like some kind of wounded animal. She wasn’t willing to be hurt again. I didn’t expect things to be easy, but I hadn’t expected her to flat out refuse to come home when I saw her again. She was living in a motel, a particularly skeevy one at that, and working at a casino, dressed as eye-candy for the male patrons. It made my blood boil, but I knew I was in no place to ask her to change. The best thing I could do would be to take her back to New York and show her how much I loved her.
The worst part was, I was on a timeline. I had to head back to Chicago in two days, or we’d lose the clients. More than that, Brad had informed me that our current clients were growing skeptical of my ability to deliver when I had suddenly become so unreliable. If I didn’t make the meeting in Chicago, it was likely we’d lose most of our business. The ones making the noise were bigwigs, and we couldn’t survive the drop if we lost them. Not that money was all-important to me, but my business was a big part of who I was. It wasn’t just a form of income, it was my passion. I had to make the meeting, but I knew I’d lose it all if there was a chance of getting Evelyn back.
I headed back to the room I had rented with Hannah. I was still furious with her, but it was a waste of emotion. She sat on the bed, not doing anything, just staring into space.
“How did it go?” she asked.
“She doesn’t want to speak to me,” I said, and ran a hand through my hair.
Hannah swore.
“This is all my fault,” she said. “I should have known she’d react like this. She’s never stayed somewhere long enough to put down roots, and she’s definitely never trusted enough to believe that she could work through problems with someone.”
“You’re right,” I said, “It is your fault, but that doesn’t mean we can’t fix it. I just don’t know where to go from here. She won’t hear me out.”
