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“I’ll never pull away. Ican’t. It’s utterly impossible.” He tilted my face up to stroke my cheek, his expression still incredibly tender, even after everything. “Don’t you see? We’re connected, and no power in the Universe is strong enough to sever it. And because of this connection, I can see the heart you’ve buried in your pain. I know you, and I know this isn’t the real you. You can’t believe it is, you just can’t.”
I embraced his words, a balm for my aching heart, which, as always whenever it was around him, felt like it was finally beating again. I nestled myself closer, burrowing my face against his neck. “What am I going to do? How can I fix this?”
“Well, you’re not to be suspended, so things will continue on much as they did before...if you want them to. Or this moment can be a new beginning, one where you finally believe that you’remorethan this. Do you believe that, Eden?” He searched my eyes as if desperate to catch a glimmer of this faith reflected there. His entire manner softened as he discovered what I was desperate to see within myself, but which the darkness filling my soul had blinded me to. “You do believe it, don’t you?”
“I’m not sure, not when Mother told me she’s always known I’m a Nightmare.”
Darius stiffened and his entire manner hardened. “She wants you to be whatshewants because that will make you easier to manipulate.”
I flinched at his accusation towards Mother, even though I was beginning to realize just how true his words likely were. “So you think she’s wrong? But she’s my mother...it feels almost impossible to believe she could be mistaken.”
“You want her approval desperately enough that you’re forcing yourself to fit this image you’ve construed about yourself.” His tone was so gentle, as if he was making every effort not to damage my still fragile heart with his words. “I wish you wouldn’t. It’s breaking my heart.”
“Even though you’re a Nightmare? I thought me being one too would make you happy.”
He cupped my chin and tilted my gaze to meet his soft one. “How can I be happy about anything that hurts you? Your mother doesn’t see the real you, not the oneIsee, the one I know you still are. You must believe me. Please.”
I allowed his faith to seep over me and soften the pain and the fear I’d allowed to enter my heart and harden it...which helped me to remember the moment earlier when I’d briefly shared Darius’s belief in myself.
“Something happened when Mother said that I was a Nightmare: I realized that deep down I didn’t believe that anymore. I don’t like being this person.”
Darius managed a soft smile. “I know you don’t. That’s why I’ve always believed in you, even when you haven’t been able to believe in yourself.”
“If this isn’t me,” I said slowly, testing the words on my tongue and marveling at how sweet they were, “then who am I?”
He lightly traced the trails my tears had stained onto my cheeks before lowering his hand to press it against my heart, whose beat escalated at his gentle touch. “Everything you are, feel, and desire to be is the real Eden.”
“Even my pain?”
“Yes, for it represents your remorse, your desires to be something more than you’ve allowed yourself to become.”
My brow furrowed as I considered his words. “But isn’t our identity determined by our birth?”
“One can always chose who they are and who they desire to become, darling,” Darius said.
Darling...the endearment did wonders for my heart, acting as the key to finally unlocking all the yearnings that had been hidden away for so long. But not anymore. I allowed them not only to emerge but to wash over me, especially all the sweet, precious feelings I felt towards Darius, feelings which, more than anything else, helped me remember who I used to be.
Instinctively, I nestled against him and sighed contentedly as I felt his arms encircle me and pull me close, as if he meant to keep me near always. I clung to him as if he was my only life preserver in this tumultuous ocean, and in his warm embrace with the feel of his heart beating against my cheek, I felt my own heart soften.
“I’m frightened, Darius,” I whispered, finally allowing myself to admit the words out loud.
His arms tightened around me, cradling me even more gently. “I know you are, but it’s going to be alright. I promise.”
And somehow for the first time since I’d come to this dark world I believed it. Everything felt safe with Darius. I buried myself deeper in his soothing arms wrapped so securely around me, where despite the mess I found myself in, I finally felt peace.
“Stay with me, Darius. Please.”
He nestled his head against my hair. “Always, my dear Eden. Always.”
Chapter 22
Istayed with Darius at the top of our starlit summit for a long time, not wanting to leave the solace of his much-needed comfort in order to rejoin reality and with it the consequences of my actions. Eventually, I knew I’d lingered with him too long and we were forced to part ways.
He pulled me close in a final embrace. “Remember that I’m here,” he murmured. “And that no matter what happens, I believe in you.”
It was still difficult to fathom how his words could possibly be true after everything that had transpired, but I was tired of doubting, so I held his promise close and allowed it to fill me with hope, which gave me the strength to return home and to a waiting Stardust.
“Where have you been?” she demanded the moment I crossed the threshold into my bedroom. “I thought you’d become a fugitive and that I’d have to track you down. Comets, what were youthinking? I’ve spent months of precious investigation time trying to reverse your suspension, and in one act of insanity you ruin everything. They’ll never let us back into Dream Realm now. How could you do this, Eden?”
