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Muttering a curse, I picked up my drink and gulped it down, wishing it were something considerably harder than cherry cola. Slamming the glass back on the tabletop caused the salt, pepper, and ketchup bottle to rattle in the basket where they were stored. “Well, I’m not worried about me or the baby,” I repeated, trying to convince myself more than Nova. “I can take care of both of us just fine on my own if I have to.”
That much, I did know. I was confident that I could raise my child on my own if it came down to it. But I was hoping Garret wouldn’t let me down, that he would step up and want to be part of our baby’s life. So far, he’d worked hard at showing me I could trust him. But this was different. A child was a lifetime commitment. Not just eighteen years, but for the rest of both of our lives.
“Then what are you afraid of?” my friend asked softly, making me face my real fear.
“Garret freaking out,” I said. “He’s just now really getting his shit together. I know he’s been working hard, trying to show me he’s ready for a commitment, but that doesn’t mean he won’t freak out more if I tell him he’s going to be a daddy.” I folded one arm over my lower abdomen, instinctively protecting the little life that was growing there. The other, I left on the table, still holding on to Nova’s. I turned my hand over, linking our fingers together.
“Don’t worry about Garret,” she assured me. “I think he might surprise you. But no matter what happens, you and that baby will be taken care of. Ryan and I will make sure of it.”
Cali
After my lunch with Nova, and she’d convinced me I had nothing to worry about when it came to confessing all to Garret, I called the club and told them I was sick. I needed the night off so I could work up the rest of the courage I needed to talk to my man when he got home that night.
I was relaxing in my room when I heard Kim leave for the night. Too nervous to eat—or maybe that was the baby—I just lay in bed watching old episodes of Pokémon. Hours passed until, finally, I heard Garret come in. He had his own key. Hell, half his stuff was in my closet and dresser drawers. We were practically living together, but I’d been holding out on him, refusing to label it as that. If I did, he would insist I move in with him at the apartment he shared with Ryan Vitucci, and I really wasn’t sure I was ready for that.
My bedroom door opened, and he was surprised when he saw I was sitting up in bed. His green eyes brightened, and he practically jogged over to the bed to kiss me. “Hey there, blue eyes.” I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him back, but it didn’t last long before he was lifting his head. “Fuck, baby. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too,” I told him. Licking my lips, I gathered my courage once again. “Um, we need to talk.”
He pulled back, his brow furrowing. “I don’t like the sound of that, Lis. Nothing good ever comes from anyone saying those words.”
I pushed up to my knees and then got off the bed. Taking his hand, I urged him to follow me into the living room. This confession was huge, and I didn’t want the sanctuary of our bed to be cursed by whatever reaction he might have to everything I needed to tell him.
“Lis, babe.” He laughed a little forcefully, sounding strained. “If this is about how much I’ve been gone for work lately, I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you as soon as this shit is taken care of. I just—”
“My name is Calista Ramirez. My friends and family would call me Cali,” I said in a rush, and I waited for his reaction.
Garret sat down on the couch, his face going completely blank. My stomach bottomed out, but I swallowed down the nausea that tried to distract me and confessed it all.
“Before I was Lis Brewer, I was Calista Ramirez. My stepfather was Matias Ramirez, and yes, my stepbrother—the one who used to beat and abuse me—is Manuel Ramirez. Matias adopted me before my mom died so that I would still have a family. He promised her he would keep me safe, but when she died, he shut down, and I became Manuel’s favorite toy to play with and torture.”
When Garret didn’t even blink at me as I told him, I began to bite on my thumbnail.
What was he thinking? His face was pale, but those green orbs were lifeless.
Tears stung my eyes, but I continued. “Last year, right before Matias died, Manuel brought me with him to New York while his dad was getting treatment. One night, he beat me so badly he broke my jaw. The next day, while he was at the hospital with Matias, Nova helped me escape. She sent me to live with your aunt at Sanctuary. They patched me up and gave me a new identity…”
I kept talking even though he didn’t so much as blink once the entire time. Tears poured down my face, and snot was choking me from how hard I was crying, but I didn’t give up.
There was only one last thing to tell him.
“Garret, I-I think I’m pregnant,” I whispered, silently praying that the news that we might be parents soon would snap him out of whatever trance he’d fallen into. “I-I know we never talked about kids, but—”
I broke off abruptly when he jerked to his feet. Without so much as looking at me, he walked calmly to the door, opened it, and closed it behind him.
My heart dropped, but I stood there, waiting, hoping. Long minutes passed as I just stared at the door, mentally pleading for it to open. But as the clock ticked, ten minutes passed, then thirty. At the one-hour mark, my legs gave out from standing there with my knees locked for so long.
A broken sob left me, and I curled into a ball on the living room floor. Touching my belly, I closed my eyes, but that didn’t stop the tears from falling. “It’s… It will be f-fine,” I promised the little nugget I knew without proof was growing in there. “W-we’ll be o-o-kay. I-I won’t let anything or any…anyone hurt you, sweet baby.”
I wasn’t sure how long I lay on the floor sobbing, promising the life growing inside me that I would protect it with my own life until my last breath, but eventually, I began to feel cold, and I knew it was bad for the baby. It took all my strength, but I slowly got to my feet and stumbled back into my room, kicking the door closed and locking it before carefully sitting on the edge of the bed.
Grabbing the pillow that had become Garret’s, I lifted it to my nose and inhaled his scent, but it only made me cry harder.
How many times had he told me he would protect me? How many times had he promised to never hurt me?
When I’d needed him the most, he’d just walked away. After everything I’d been through, ridiculously, I’d thought a man who had already hurt me in the past was someone I could put my faith in, that he would take care of his child—and, stupidly, me too. I’d put every horrible thing he’d ever written to and about me on social media all those years ago behind me, because I loved him and had actually believed that he’d grown up. That he’d finally turned into a man worthy of my trust, love, and loyalty.
But he’d let me down.
