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I hope you get raped and left for dead.
My legs folded under me, and I dropped to my knees, the tears falling faster. The sting of my sister’s slap must have knocked some sense into me, because suddenly, I remembered that Lis had other things to tell me, but I hadn’t heard any of it.
Oh God, I’d fucked up.
“I said that,” I whispered as the full force of my idiocy flooded through me. “I really said that to her.” Stricken, I looked up at my sister. Of the two of us, she was the good one. The one who loved everyone, who always took care of us all—my sorry ass included. “I told her that and so much more, but I never meant it, Nova. I was a bastard to her. How—” Bile lifted into my throat along with the taste of whisky. Quickly, I swallowed it down. “How could she possibly love me when I treated her like that back then?”
“I don’t know, but she does.” Her touch soothed something inside me just a little, and I felt her wipe away my tears. Hearing her confirm that Lis loved me calmed the rage that was still simmering beneath the surface. “Please tell me you didn’t spew more stupid shit when she told you the truth.”
“No,” I panted, shaking my head, only to cause the world to spin around me. “I didn’t say anything. I just let her talk, and then I left.”
“Idiot.”
Shame had my head dropping until my chin touched my chest. “I know. I’m an idiot who doesn’t deserve her.” I snapped my head back up, my eyes pleading for Nova to believe me, to help me make this better. If she couldn’t fix it, then no one could. “But I love her.”
“I’m not the one you should be saying that to, stupid,” she scoffed at me.
I jerked unsteadily to my feet. “You’re right. I have to talk to her.” Tell her how sorry I was. That I’d make it all up to her. That she was the only good thing in the entire world that truly mattered to me. “I have to tell her how sorry I am,” I said. “And that I love her. I have to—”
“You have to go to bed and sleep off whatever you took a bath in.” Grabbing one of my arms, she turned me toward my bedroom. I leaned on her, letting her help me. That’s what Nova did. She was good at it. The best. How could she be so good, while I was such a fuckup?
“You’re in no condition to tell her anything right now,” she grumbled as she helped me to the bed. “And even if you tried, she probably wouldn’t believe you when you smell like tequila.”
“I can’t believe our dad owns a bar and you can’t tell the difference between the smell of tequila and Macallan,” I mumbled as I lay down.
“Unlike you, I didn’t start sampling the product at the bar when I was thirteen,” she reminded me. “Ugh, you drank an entire bottle of Macallan, didn’t you?”
“Maybe. Can’t remember.” I let her tuck me in, not even caring when she gave me a withering look.
“You’re stupider than I gave you credit for,” she said with a sad shake of her head, reaching to turn off the lamp beside my bed. “Get some sleep, dumbass. Hopefully you can apologize to Cali tomorrow and fix what you broke tonight.”
I hope you get raped and left for dead.
More tears spilled from my eyes. “Fuck, I hope so.”
Cali
By Friday, I felt a little better, but not much. For days, the only time I had left my room was to use the bathroom and replenish my supply of sports drinks and bottles of water so I didn’t get dehydrated.
My phone had been going off constantly during the days I’d been camped out in my bed, feeling like death warmed over. At least I hadn’t thrown up anymore, but every time Garret’s name popped up on my screen, bile tried to choke me. Luckily, the anger would help me fight through the nausea, and I finally blocked his number so I didn’t have to deal with it any longer.
Nova, on the other hand, was a different story. She called to check up on me at least once a day. Hearing her voice soothed my frayed nerves and even helped me sleep a little during the day. I really hoped she hadn’t been kidding about the new job offer—or that it was still on the table now that her brother and I were no longer together. I’d called off from work all week, and the last time I’d spoken to my boss, he’d said if I didn’t come back with a doctor’s excuse, not to come back at all.
That morning, I’d finally left the apartment and walked to the pharmacy on the corner to grab a few things. Top of my list was the pregnancy test and a case of ginger ale. When I got back to the apartment, I popped a can and poured it over a glass of ice. After chugging half the contents, I took the little bag with the test into the bathroom and peed on the stick.
It was just a formality. I knew without a doubt that I was pregnant, but I wanted the proof to show Garret when I finally faced him again. Not that I expected him to care. He hadn’t said a single word the night I’d told him everything, and even though he’d tried to call me and he’d texted, I couldn’t get past him just walking away when I’d needed him most.
Didn’t he understand I was scared out of my head? I’d played a good game with Nova, telling her I wasn’t worried about the baby or myself, but that was all bullshit. I was terrified. My mother had died before she could teach me how to be a good parent, and every other parental figure in my life had let me down to the point that using them as an example had only shown me what not to do.
As the second line appeared on the cheap test, I touched my hands to my belly, silently promising my little nugget that no matter how scared I was, that didn’t mean I would let him or her down. “I’ll figure it out,” I vowed. “You have nothing to worry about. Mommy is going to make sure you are taken care of.”
I spent the rest of the day resting. A search online about the early stages of pregnancy had said that feeling tired was natural. I wasn’t sure if it was the baby or all the emotional bullshit Garret had put me through that was making me want to stay in bed all day, every day, but I knew I would eventually have to push through it and start making money again.
During one of my chats with Nova, she’d invited me out for a girls’ night with her and her cousins. I didn’t feel much like partying, but I wanted to see Nova. After showering, I put on a little makeup and then pulled on a pair of black shorts to go with my red top. It had been hot and humid when I’d gone to the pharmacy that morning, and I could only assume the heat had gotten worse as the day progressed.
At the designated time, I walked out of my building to find a limo already waiting for me. The muscle that had been with my friend earlier in the week when we’d had lunch together got out and opened the back door for me. He was cordial when he greeted me, and I muttered one in return as I stepped into the back to find my friend and her cousin Ciana sitting together.
“Hey,” I mumbled, sitting across from them.
