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I shook his hand. I watched him walk away. I swallowed down the bile threatening to come up my esophagus.
“Josie?” Maddox said softly at my side.
I blinked at him. Words wouldn’t come. If I opened my mouth, I was going to come undone. I’d start screaming and crying and pulling my hair out, and I wouldn’t be able to stop. Four years of film school had led to this moment. Where it should have been my triumph, leading into film festival season. But instead … I had nothing. Nothing to show for it at all.
“Are you okay?”
I held my hand up. I couldn’t even look at him. His short film that I’d voice acted had been shown on Wednesday to critical acclaim. He’d had three job offers on the spot, and the next day, he’d gotten an email … from Pixar. Maddox was going to be just fine.
I, on the other hand, had no prospects. And even if it wasn’t the end of the world, it sure felt as if someone had pulled the rug out from underneath me and I was in free fall.
“Josie, say something. Talk to me. It wasn’t that bad.”
My eyes snapped to his. A seething glare in them. “Don’t,” I snapped. He reeled back at the venom in my voice. I hung my head. “Just don’t lie.”
“I wasn’t lying. It wasn’t as bad as you’re making it out to be. You still have a career in front of you.”
“I can’t do this.”
He opened his mouth to add some more glib, perfunctory platitudes. But I couldn’t hear any of it. I couldn’t stand here another second. I needed to escape my life going up in flames.
“Josie, come on …”
“I … I need a minute.”
Then, I grabbed the handle to the back exit and plunged out into the darkened alley behind the theater. I kicked the door behind me and dashed forward to put space between me and everything that had just happened. There were three men in suits at the mouth of the alley, smoking cigarettes. I’d sworn off drugs and smoking since I’d gotten with Maddox. I’d even turned down molly on my birthday. I was not in the mood to be that good girl tonight.
“Hey,” I said, strutting toward them. “Can I bum a smoke?”
They broke off their conversation as I approached.
Only one of them was even remotely attractive. A tall guy with long, stringy hair and a snake’s smile, who I named Snake in my head. The other two men were older with paunchy bellies, jowls, and lined faces. But even still, I could tell their suits were expensive. The oldest guy was wearing a Rolex, so I named him the same in my head, and the middle guy was No Socks.
“Sure,” Snake said, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket and offering it to me.
I put it between my lips and let him light it for me. I winked at him. “Thanks.” I leaned back against the brick wall and put one heel back, balancing on one foot. “What a fucking night, eh?”
Rolex eyed me up and down, as if he might offer to pick me up like a prostitute. I was well past the point of caring about anything. I was reeling from the crash and burn of my movie.
“Go on,” I said, waving a hand. “Continue your discussion.”
No Socks smirked. “Are you here for the festival?”
“Sure am. Would I be dressed like this if I wasn’t?” I gestured to my very sensible black dress. The thousand-dollar Jimmy Choos on my feet. Rolex seemed to notice them and gave me a second appraisal.
“Do you work in film?” he asked.
“You could say that.”
I blew cigarette smoke into his face. His eyes were clear as he looked back at me, as if he couldn’t believe I’d had the audacity. He had money. Big fucking deal.
“We were discussing Noir. Did you see it?”
I shot them a Cheshire cat smile. Noir. My movie. Lord fucking help me. Of course they were discussing my film.
“Sure,” I said, taking another long drag of the smoke. “What a nightmare.”
Snake laughed. “Worst thing we’ve seen here.”
“Like, what even was the director thinking?” I added, self-deprecating.
Here was the truth. The absolute truth. Maddox could lie all he wanted, but these men were clearly in the industry. They had no idea who I was. They were being honest.
No Socks shrugged. “At least the CGI was good.”
“The only good thing about it,” Snake responded.
I nearly huffed. Of course the only good thing about me was Maddox. Classic.
Rolex crossed his arms and eyed me. “You remind me of someone. What did you say your name was?”
“I didn’t,” I said, stepping away from the wall.
“What does it matter?” Snake asked, clearly ready for this conversation to be over.
I laughed and held my hand out to Rolex. “Josephine Reynolds.”
