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Pain flashes across her face. “I…” She swallows. “I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a complete loser, but it needs to be said, so…” She pulls in a breath, her gaze dropping to the Astroturf between us as she adds, “Brain Chill won’t give me a good reference. If I hadn’t quit when I did, they would have fired me. They weren’t happy with my design and even less happy with my control of my team. I proved that two of the guys I was in charge of managing were actively sabotaging my code, but it didn’t seem to matter. The higher-ups saw that as my fault for failing to inspire loyalty and confidence.” She sighs. “Basically, I left feeling like I was made of suck. And even though, deep down, I know that’s not true, I’m not the confident coder I used to be. I’m damaged goods. As soon as your bosses at Paradisus start digging deeper into my time at Brain Chill, they’re going to see that, and I don’t want you to get in trouble for bringing them a dud.”
“You are not a dud. Not even close.” Anger at the self-serving little shits who turned her first dream job into a nightmare makes my voice shake as I add, “Fuck those guys. No one at Paradisus is going to care what they have to say. And you won’t have to work with anyone who doesn’t fully support you ever again. I’ll make sure of it.”
Her forehead furrows. “Why?”
I smile. “Is that your new favorite question?”
“Yes,” she says. “I’m embracing my inner toddler. Besides, all the best people stay curious. The day you stop asking ‘why,’ is the day society has succeeded in crushing your soul. And I really want to know why.Whyare you willing to stick your neck out for me like this? You don’t even know me anymore, Sam. I could be an irresponsible jerk or a drunk or one of those people who microwave tuna fish at the office.”
“Well, like I said, you can work from home as long as you like, and I’m in a different division. I won’t have to smell what you’re cooking anyway, so…”
“I’m serious,” she insists. “Why? It’s been six years. Six years without so much as a text or an email or a like on a social media post. But one look at my résumé, and you decided to jump on a plane and fly all the way across the ocean to offer me a job? Doesn’t that seem a little strange to you?”
“It’s your birthday. And like I said, it felt like a sign.” I curl my hands into fists on my knees. “I’ve missed you, Jess. A lot.”
“I’m easy to find,” she says in a more vulnerable voice than I’ve heard from her so far. “You could have reached out any time. Or, I don’t know, justnotdisappeared in the first place. Did I do something to piss you off? If I did, I’m sorry. I’ve racked my brain so many times, trying to think of what I could have done to make you ghost me like that, but I—”
“No, it wasn’t you,” I cut in, hating that I’ve fucked this up so badly. “It was me. It’s always been me. High school was so shitty, Jess. My school was a lot more cliquey and classist than yours. I didn’t have the group of friends you had, and I never seemed to fit in, even with the other nerds. It was…painful. After graduation, I didn’t want to be that awkward kid anymore. I wanted a fresh start, and I needed a clean break from everything to make that happen.”
“Even one of your best friends?”
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” I say, wishing I could tell her that I’m crazy about her, that I’ve been in love with her since sophomore year of high school and will crawl on my belly over a blanket of nails to earn her forgiveness if that’s what it takes, but I know Jess. She avoids feelings, especially complicated ones, like the plague.
If I confess any of my secrets, she’ll never take the job, and she has to take it. I need her talent, and she needs a safe workplace where she’ll be able to shine and succeed.
That’s why I decided not to tell her that I’m the man behind the curtain at Paradisus. I don’t want her to feel like she’s beholden or subservient to me in any way. I want her to boldly go where she’s meant to go without any worries about keeping the big boss, who also happens to be her childhood friend, happy.
“Maybe I should have called instead?” I ask after a beat. “Or waited to show up on your doorstep until tomorrow? After the party was over?”
She shakes her head, blinks, then shakes her head again.
“Is that a no?” I ask. “A yes? A maybe?”
“I don’t know,” she says, biting her lip the way she does when she’s fighting to keep from saying something she’d rather not share. It’s a battle she always used to lose. She proves she’s still the same girl I knew by blurting out a second later, “But the fact is youdidshow up tonight. Onthenight. The exact night we promised to show up for each other.”
“But I didn’t bring the capes,” I say, not bothering to mention that I still have them—both of them—in a special memento box in the attic at my country house.
Her eyes narrow. “It doesn’t matter. You can play innocent all you want, Sam, but I won’t and don’t believe you.”
Heart beating faster, I arch a brow. “No?”
“No.” She hitches her chin higher into the air. “I think you showed up tonight on purpose.”
“And if I did?” I ask, my entire body vibrating as she leans closer, bringing her lips mere inches from mine. “What would you think about that?”
“I’d think it was insane,” she says, threatening to pop my fragile hope balloon, before she adds, “There’s no way someone as hot as you are should still be a virgin. Unless you’re a really bad kisser or something. Are you a really bad kisser, Sam?”
I’m about to offer her a chance to decide for herself, but in typical Jess fashion, she beats me to the punch.
Before I can say a word, Jess’s lips are on mine.
Jessica Allison Cho, my dream girl for as long as I can remember, is suddenly kissing me—this isn’t a dream or a fantasy, this isreal, and even more intense than I imagined it would be.
Her lips are warm and confident, but gentle, curious, too. Her velvety soft skin brushes against mine, teasing, exploring, making my blood rush in my ears even before her tongue teases along the seam of my mouth, triggering a minor cardiac event.
“I’m a virgin, too,” she whispers against my lips as I’m struggling to talk my heart out of my throat. “And a deal is a deal.” She sits back on her heels, watching me with glittering eyes that make it almost impossible not to drag her into my lap and her lips back to mine. “But I have two conditions: One, we have to get to know each other again first, or it will be too weird. I don’t get naked with strangers, even a stranger who used to be one of my best friends.”
I nod, my head bobbing loosely on my still-electrified body. “I’m here for two weeks, and I’d love to spend every second of my free time with you.”
