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WEEKS BLEED INTOeach other, the holidays quickly approaching. As excited as I am for the break, I’m not really looking forward to two weeks during which I won’t be able to sleep next to Kodiak. We’ve gotten used to spending most nights together, other than his overnight away games or my occasional sleepovers at Lovey and Lacey’s—which often coincide with each other.
Finals are coming up, and even with Kodiak’s help, I’m barely passing my economics course. But at least Iampassing, and I’ll never have to take it again after this. It’s a chilly December morning, snow swirling frantically in the biting wind as I head for the quad. Lovey and Lacey are already in the café, and Kodiak and BJ are supposed to meet up with us for coffee before we all go to our next classes.
I duck my head to protect my face from the biting wind. My eyes water, thanks to the way my contact lenses are trying to freeze to my eyeballs. Because I’m looking at the ground and not where I’m going, I run right into someone and lose my hold on my backpack, which was slung over one shoulder.
“I’m so sorry.” I bend to pick up my bag, but a foot comes down on the strap.
I’m looking at a very impractical, heeled boot for this weather. It’s icy and salty everywhere.
“You’re about to be,bitch.”
The familiar voice sends a shiver down my spine, and I slowly push to a stand, reluctant to confirm what I already know. I’m about to have a long-overdue confrontation with Bethany, my very brief former roommate and one of Kodiak’s bunny groupies.
Kodiak never came out and told me exactly what happened, but based on his sometimes voyeuristic and slightly kinky predilections, I have a pretty good idea.
I’ve seen Bethany a bunch of times on campus, but I’ve always been with other people. When I’m with Lovey and Lacey, she shoots me dirty looks, but when I’m with Kodiak, she pretends neither of us exists. Today she’s with two of her friends. They’re all wearing some kind of school gear—although their allegiance seems to have changed to the rugby team.
“You fucked things up for me, for all three of us.” She motions to her friends.
I don’t respond. Not because I can’t, but because I have no idea what to say to that. I don’t understand why anyone would want to be the communal fucktoy for a college sports team. I imagine low self-esteem has something to do with it, but pointing that out probably isn’t going to help my case.
“Kody was mine first. I had dibs. There’s a system here, and you messed with it, and now we’re blacklisted from all the hockey and football parties. You’re not special, you know. They’re all gonna get bored with you. And Kody’s never going to stick with just you. He likes variety. Isn’t that right?” She looks to her friends for confirmation.
They nod their agreement. “We’d know. We’ve all had a piece of him,” the one on the right says.
“Okay, well, that’s just . . . kind of gross, and also probably untrue.” I shudder at the thought. While Kodiak is certainly no saint, he’s also too much of a germaphobe to play pass-the-bunny.
“Are you calling us liars?” Bethany is unnecessarily loud.
I shrug. “If the shoe fits . . .”
“Whatever. Believe me or don’t, he’s going to get tired of you, and when he does, we’ll all be there to make him feel better.”
Her outburst is drawing attention—the embarrassing kind. I’m actually mortified for her, and also myself, because this is fairly horrifying as far as public self-humiliation goes. But I recognize that it’s par for the course. And when Kodiak is likely playing professional hockey next year, the rumors will become infinitely worse. Things will be taken out of context; pictures will be manipu-lated. I know because my mother has never hidden what happened with her and my dad when they first started dating.
My relationship with Kodiak will most definitely be tested.
These are all the things I’m thinking about as Bethany rants and raves about how she’s determined to get her team-bunny status back.
“What’s going on here?”
Kodiak’s voice brings instant relief and added anxiety at the same time. I don’t want him to lose his shit publicly on these girls.
“Kody! Oh, hey! We were just talking. Isn’t that right?” Bethany’s smile is ridiculously fake.
I stare at her in absolute disbelief. As if I’m going to pretend we were having a fun, casual chat.
“Lavender?” Kodiak wraps an arm around me, going into overprotective mode. “Stay away from my girlfriend.”
“We were girl bonding.” Bethany flips her hair over her shoulder and motions between her and me. “Sharing stories, ’cause we know what you’re like.”
I can’t even with this girl. “Look, Bethany, I’ve known Kodiak for as long as I’ve been breathing, so whatever chance you girls think you have with him, you don’t. He’s mine. He’s always been mine, and he will always be mine. End of story.”
I tug on Kodiak’s arm. I need to get away from these girls and the scene they’re causing before they say something even more humiliating, or expose either of us in ways I’d prefer they didn’t. I’m so angry, I’m shaking.
Kodiak tightens his arm around me as we cross the quad toward the closest building. A student comes out of a stairwell exit, and Kodiak catches the door before it can close, tugging me inside. He pulls me against his chest, wraps me in a hug, and tells me how sorry he is while he rubs my back. I let him, because it’s freezing outside, and he’s warm, and it feels nice to be held.
Someone muttersexcuse me, and he shuffles us out of the way, finally releasing me. He jumps back like I’ve turned into a poisonous spider, eyes wide with panic. “Shit. You’re shaking. Are you okay? I’m screwing this up, aren’t I? I shouldn’t be doing this.”
