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"I'll deal with the consequences of my actions,” she assures me. “How do you feel?"
I touch my tender eyelids with the tips of my wrapped fingers. The left eye hurts a hell of a lot more than the right.
"They're still pretty swollen. That left one's swollen shut, but the other one looks better today. Doc said in a couple days you should be seeing a lot better, and that your arm will be healed by the time you're off house arrest."
A suspiciously whiny sound leaves my chest. "Good ol' Doc. Did he happen to have any pain meds for me?"
"No. No drugs." I know this law is being handed down directly from Nell herself. Even Doc wouldn’t make me suffer in pain.
"Ibuprofen and cocaine are a little different, sweetheart."
She drops almost instantly, folding in on herself. "I was so scared, Knox. I thought you were going to-"
I slip my fingers under hers and squeeze her hand. "I promise," I breathe, unable to take the pain in her voice. "I promise, Nell. I won’t do it again." I'm mentally kicking my own ass. I hate saying those words, because I feel so strongly like I won't be able to keep the promise. I have to, though. I can't do this to her again, to myself, to my club. She came here for me to protect her, and-whoa.
Her soft lips against mine again- it's heaven. She starts to break away, mumbling apologies into my mouth, but I pull her back. I hold the back of her head and kiss her harder, taking her bottom lip into my mouth.
This is Nell. There's no confusion, no doubt, and she's kissing me. It calms the craziness inside my head. I need the silence, even if it can only last for a minute. When I let go, she's slow to pull away.
She swallows hard before she opens her eyes to look at me. She looks confused, but happy. Thank God, I finally did something that didn't make her cry. The last few days have been so rough on us both. We watch each other for a few moments before I clear my throat and break the silence.
"Am I… allowed to go to the bathroom and have some breakfast?"
"Yeah, of course!" Nell jumps into action. She climbs off the side of the bed I normally sleep on and comes around to unlock the handcuffs. She stops right before putting the key in the lock. "You aren't going to run, right?"
"No."
Her eyes narrow. "You mean that?"
"I do. I don't think I'd be able to run very far when I can barely see. How about I just go to the bathroom first? Then we'll figure out breakfast."
"Yeah. That sounds good." She slips the key in and unlocks the cuff from my wrist, effectively releasing me.
For a split second, the thought races through my mind to make a break for it. I’m not going to, but I could. I could be high before she caught up to me.
"Let me help you." Nell helps me sit up and takes my arm over her shoulder as I stand. My legs are fine, but I appreciate the help since I can't see. "I went through everything last night, but I still…" She heaves a sigh. "I don't trust you with closed doors. So, I won't look but you have to leave the door open."
Irritation flares through me.This was stupid. I'm being monitored and babysat. I'm a grown man. I'm capable of taking a piss without an audience. Doesn't it seem like overkill? Handcuffs, house arrest, nanny? She searched my shit too. Let's not forget that.
"You just said I can't know what you might do. I'm taking the precautions."
I did say that. Fuck me for being an idiot.
"I know you said last night that nobody would leave you alone and that's all you want, but you aren't alone. You know that right? We're all here to support you."
What the hell is Nell talking about? "When did I say that?"
"In the hallway."
"Layla," I grouse out loud.
"What?"
I brace myself on the walls as I step into the bathroom, keeping my back to Nell. "I was talking to Layla in the hallway. She said something about me not wearing shoes and I told her to leave me alone." The damn woman refuses to listen to anything I’ve ever said.
"Do you see her often?"
"Only when I'm sober." Which is why I have refused to be sober for a large majority of the time since she died.
