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CHAPTERSIXTEEN
Joey
“I’m never hanging out with you again,” I groan in agony as Robin whistles.
“You love me.”
“You’re obnoxious.”
She shrugs, not denying it, but she redeems herself with an outstretched cup of coffee.
“Oh, bless you. I do love you. You’re a goddess.”
Robin doesn’t laugh, which is a bit suspicious, considering she lives for compliments.
“What is it?”
“What do you mean, what?”
“You’re acting weirdly quiet. Did I do something stupid last night? I lost my phone, so it couldn’t have been a drunk text confessing my unrealistic love for the man I’m furious with and yet still can’t stop missing so much it hurts.”
I laugh with no humor. My heart still pulling me up the mountain where I really wanted to be this morning. Part of me closed my eyes last night and hoped it was all a bad dream and I’d wake up to the familiar husky snores of the bearded brute.
The saddest thing is I don’t believe a word he wrote. I know in my bones he didn’t mean any of it. No one, especially not a man, has ever cherished me the way Gavin has. Taken care of my well-being or bothered to look past my baggy clothes. Gavin made me believe in myself when I couldn’t see myself as anything special.
“Ouch.”
Billy the Kid pulls my hair, trying to take a bite…or get my attention. A letter sits beside my glass of water from the night before. The envelope is addressed to me but has no address and is unopened.
“What’s this?”
“A letter from you know who,” Robin says into her steaming mug.
“Gavin wrote me this? He’s here?”
“He came by last night, and I sent him on his way because you were out cold, but this morning he showed up with coffee, and boo, I love ya, but we needed it, so I accepted. There are also donuts.”
“Donuts?”
“Yep. Frosted ones.”
“Damn, he’s good.”
He knew exactly how to penetrate my fortress and get past my gatekeeper. I find myself smiling for the first time since before I read the letter. My heart squeezes with the possibility of him fighting to apologize. I was worried he would spiral downward, leaving me to think he really felt those things he wrote about me. But again, actions speak louder than words, and Gavin has shown me so much love this last month, hell, since we were kids, that I had to hold onto some hope that he would come for me. That he would fight and not give up.
I want, no, need, for him to come out of his shell and show me that my feelings weren’t one-sided. Fine, he’s not a talker. He’s a stubborn son of a bitch, but he loves me, and he’s trying to show me. I can at least enjoy the sentiment. And I do; three chocolate-covered donuts later and coffee drunk, I shower and sit down at Robin’s table to take a hard look at my life. What do I want? My things are currently at the bottom of a mountain, but I can’t think of a single item I miss. I didn’t even want my old ratty sweats anymore. Now that I know tighter jeans and tank tops with push-up bras make me feel sexy and confident, I don’t want my old things. No, I needed a change.
“Here are some clothes.”
“Oh gosh, thank you. You don’t have to give me these.”
“I know, but they suit you.”
“Ripped jeans and a tattered old Tennessee whiskey shirt make you think of me.”
“Mmm hmm, yep.”
I laugh and change into the clothes. Truth be told, looking in the mirror makes me feel more like the Joey I wanted to be. Strong, chin tipped up. The cleavage is on point. I am going to make the life I always wanted, and damn it, I’m not going to let a man chase me from a place I don’t want to leave.
