Page 65 of Finding Forever


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Pulling back, he smirks boyishly. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time, Bubs. All mine now. No takebacks.”

He leans his forearms on the armrests of my wheelchair, which reminds me of my pee bag, which then reminds me of how awful I probably look. That kiss was so good, so soothing, but– “How bad do I look?”

He shakes his head immediately. “You look beautiful. You always look beautiful to me.”

I smile at his automatic – and totally expected – answer. “Okay, but if you were an objective outsider… A guy on the street. How would you describe me?”

“Objectively…” His finger comes up to stroke my face the way he did for Bean a minute ago. “Objectively, I’d be terrified for your life. I’d say your lips and skin are scarily pale, and that your hair needs to be brushed.”

“I’m pale?”

He nods sadly. “You’re so pale, Bubs. I’m scared you’re going to pass out.”

“I feel like I might pass out.” When his eyes flare wide in panic, I snicker. “Sorry. Not right this second. I’m okay, but I’m more tired than I’ve ever been in my life.”

“Tell me as soon as you want to go back to bed. I’ll take you up.”

“No. I’m not leaving until I have to.”

His eyes narrow at my statement. “You need to rest, Bubs. You’ve been through a lot. You can’t look after her if you’re flat out on your face.”

I simply meet his glare with my own. “I’m not leaving.”

“Let me take care of you, Bubs. I want to take care of you.” He looks down at Bean sleeping between us. “Are you hungry?”

I shake my head. “Not hungry, but can you open my juice?”

With a nod, he cracks the seal and feeds a straw into the top as I study the multitudes of wires. “She’s fine.” He reads my mind. “She’ll be perfectly fine. They’re just monitoring her.”

“She’s sick?”

“She caught an infection, the same as you. That’s why you were shaking so much. But you’ll both be fine after a few days and some antibiotics.”

I sip my juice and study her tiny cracked lips. This time yesterday, I could’ve sworn she was a he, but now, I can’t imagine her any other way. “And she’ll be fine?” I clarify. “You’re not saying that so I don’t freak?”

He smiles. “I’m not lying. She’ll be fine. They said she’ll be able to leave in a few days, both of you will.”

“That’s good. I really want to go home.”

“You want to go home?” The nurse steps up behind us with a goofy grin. “But you just got here, sweetheart. We didn’t even get to paint nails, yet.”

“Or brush hair,” Jim quietly mocks.

She taps his shoulder. She heard him, but her eyes are for me. “Do you want to try breastfeeding her?

“Oh… um…” My heart races with nerves. “I don’t know how.”

“Nobody knows how at first.” She sits on the edge of a bedside cabinet. “I’ll help you, honey. I won’t leave till you’ve got it under control.”

I look toward Jim nervously. “Okay, sure…”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No! Please stay.” I need to tone down my panic. Him leaving for five minutes isn’t the end of the world. He’ll be back.

But he’s my anchor. My best friend.

If I ever needed that, it’s now. “You’ve seen everything, anyway. Please stay.”

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