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Chapter Eleven
Beau
No answer.
You aren’t supposed to be the one initiating contact.
I couldn’t help myself. I needed his touch to replace Alex’s filthy one.
I kicked off my shoes and propped my feet on the coffee table.
Being a beck-and-call girl wasn’t exactly me. I knew what I was doing. So what if the side effect was a little—okay, a lot—of pleasure? It had been a long time and using him to blow off some much-needed steam was as good a form of stress relief as I could think of.
If I could convince Cagan to marry me, I’d be headed back to London soon. This would all be nothing but a memory. And hopefully Cal would feel half of what he’d made me feel all those years ago.
I can’t sleep with Cagan.
Not because he wasn’t attractive. And it probably would be quite good. But I . . . I couldn’t cross that line. What was I planning to do? Ask him to become celibate to save my ass?
I can’t.
We could work out an arrangement. It wasn’t as if I planned on sharing a bed with him. Maybe a house, but . . .
In my desperation, I hadn’t thought this through at all. I could live with it for a few years, but I had so much more to gain. What I couldn’t live with was putting my friend through the restraint of a marriage he didn’t want.
I grabbed my phone.
Three dots had been flashing for almost an hour, but no response.
I searched for Cagan's contact and dialed.
“By all means, call me at any hour.”
He sounded wide awake. With the time difference it was almost six a.m. in London and I was sure he hadn’t adjusted to New York time so quickly.
“I appreciate that,” I said saucily. “About what I proposed earlier—”
“Nice choice of words.”
Jackass.
“Forget it.”
“Have you already found someone else? You wound me.”
I could just picture his hand over his heart in mock despair.
“You’ll get over it.” A smile cracked my face.
“Eventually. Maybe.” He was quiet a second. “I understand your predicament far better than I wish to. If you need to have a chat, I’m here.”
“Thanks.” I was grateful for my friend. “Same goes.”
“If any solutions come to mind, I’ll ring you.”
Knock. Knock. Knock.
I dropped my feet to the floor.
