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64
Nicolette
Kris is sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. Lathan left to go to the Chelsea Market with Gill, Gillian and Piper Lyn to help. I gave him a list of likes and dislikes and let him know that Kris is about all things grease. It did not seem to phase him, so we will see. Kris however is hung up on where he comes from. This from a guy that just the other night admitted to taking in Blue like a stay cat. I’m smelling a hypocrite and it’s pissing me off.
“Why are you so hung up on this?” I ask and I’m not nice about it. Should I be sitting, probably instead I’m pacing our bedroom.
“I don’t know, maybe because the guy filled your belly so maybe that’s why you’re not seeing that him tramping around may not look good for us? I don’t know where Erica found him, but it feels strange. You didn’t see yourself, or the other girls that like guys. I mean you were drooling, and it wasn’t just from the cheese.” he huffs on that last part.
“Excuse me? Listen here mister. I wasn’t drooling over nobody! I was fucking starving and he fed me food I would fucking eat! Is that or is it not what you wanted? For Christ’s sake Kris do you hear yourself? You're jealous! Why you’re jealous is beyond me. It’s not like I’m going to jump his bones for Pete's sake. You’re pathetic. Figure your shit out because I will not let you rub your insecurities off on me. I have enough of my own, thank you very much!”
He stands, his head low, just when I think he’s going to speak he instead just walks toward the door. As it opens there standing on the other side is everyone who did not leave. His head shakes and he sidles past them, muttering “Excuse me.”
I see Blue’s head turn toward the direction Kris goes before looking back at me, his hand rises in a short wave. “Hi.”
“Snooping is not a good look on you.” I say before shutting the door.
Sitting down on the bed I grab my phone and hit dad’s name. I need to talk to him, so he can tell me that I’m not the one overreacting, and that Kris is. It rings like seven times before dad finally picks up.
“Nik? Honey is that you? How’s New York?”
“It’s horrible. I miss home. I miss you and when life was easy.”
Dad laughs at me. “When was life ever easy? It’s life, it’s not meant to be easy.”
“Even going through everything I did was easier than everything going on right now. When I was younger all I thought about was growing up and now I just want to be a kid again.”
“Kiddo, I don’t think you were ever actually anything less than a tiny adult.” He sighs, and I can hear noise in the background. Clanging dishes and lots of voices. “Hang on a sec. Would ya pipe down? I’m tryin to talk to my fucking kid!” It starts to get quieter. “Sorry about that, it’s delivery day at the Stomp. I never did thank Kris for the position here. Where is he by the way?”
“Of course you would ask about him. Can we not talk about him? I’m not happy with him at the moment. He’s a jealous overgrown child.”
“What has he done? Has he laid a hand on you? Nik do I have to come up there with an alibi in place?”
“Do you really think I’d still be here if he hit me or I wouldn’t be calling from jail? He may have stupid moments but I don’t actually think he’s stupid. Dad we need to talk. Are you sitting down?”
“Should I? Is it something that is likley to make me need to?” His anger is being replaced by worry. “What’s going on? Why do we need to talk? Are you not coming back to Tennessee?”
“I’m coming back to Tennessee for a little bit. Kris is wanting to start touring but not really what we needed to talk about. I mean you knew I would tour again. So, something happened since we’ve been here. I had to stay at the hospital for a little bit. My heart is fine but um-well.” I take a deep breath because I know he’s about to lose his mind.
“Nik, spit it out for God’s sake. I’m ready to call the airline.”
“You’ve got to promise you’ll still love me and won’t be mad at me.”
“What on earth would ever make me not love you? Nik? Did someone die?”
“Well, almost. I’m pregnant and started bleeding and almost miscarried. Now Kris and I are fighting and I’m scared to death and I don’t know what to do about any of it.”
“Wait? Y-you’re pregnant? Is that why you are getting married? Is that why he asked so fast? Why didn’t you tell me? I could have come with you, I could have helped. He has no idea what it’s going to be like, what you’re going to be like. Your needs are not like others. Nik, you traveled? You flew? Why are you worried about a tour? You need to see specialists, and not just sporadically. Does he even understand the risk you are taking? Never mind misscar-”
“Dad, he didn't know. I got the call the day he asked. I had to process it before telling you. We saw the specialist went through all the tests. They told us our odds and we decided to get through the first trimester before saying anything. Technically I’m in week ten but I needed to talk to you. As for seeing the specialists all the time he’s taking them with us. He knows. We understand everything this could be and the things that could happen. I’m scared dad. I’m more scared at this moment than I ever was as a child on my damn death bed.”
“Of course you're scared-anyone in their right mind would be. So at least we can say that is normal. Nick, honey if you need to come home, I’m here. Whatever you need. I’m your dad, even when I don’t agree with you, I’ll back your play. Every time. As for Kris? Talk to him, not at him. To him, he’s probably just as messed up as you are. I know you don’t want to hear this, but if something happened, if you die…” He pauses and I can hear the break in his voice as he clears his throat. “If you die, your pain ends, but his, and those you leave behind, it goes on. Our pain will linger long after you. I’m not saying this to hurt you, I’m saying it because it is a fear that I know. A pain that I know. Cut him a little slack, he’s made a lot of major life changes since meeting you, you’re making him a better man, so give him a chance to show you that. Just listen, and for once maybe curb that sassy mouth long enough to hear him say he loves you and believe him.”
“I don’t have a sassy mouth!” I sigh. “I hear ya. I fucked up now I have to find him with my tail between my legs and apologize.”
“No need to tuck tail, it’s not your style, but you can show your belly and promise not to chew his damn hand off.” He chuckles. “You’ll figure it out, and then you come home and marry that boy.”
“I am not marrying him just because I got pregnant! Christ dad you sound like one of those people out of the fifties movies you used to watch.”
”Better days, my girl, better days. Look if you feel better, I need to get back to work, but if you need me I’m always here for you. I love you, baby.”
“I love you too, dad. I’ve got to go find Kris. We’ll talk later. We’ll be home in a couple of weeks.” We hang up and I head out of the bedroom, half expecting to find the gaggle, but thankfully the hall is empty. Coming into the kitchen I find Lathan fast at work carving up some type of meat. He nods and smiles but I’m looking for Kris. That’s when I see it, the movement outside. Walking to the window I’m staring at Kris’ back, and next to him is a long necked bottle.
