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“No?” I squeak. “Yes? Maybe?”
Back to the mouse impressions. Fantastic.
“How convincing.”
I clear my throat. Mom and I are close; it’s not surprising that she’s seeing right through my denial. I take a deep inhale, hold it in, then say in a rush, “Ethan-and-I-kissed.”
“You did!” Mom coos. She doesn’t even sound surprised. “When did this happen?”
“Uh… a little while ago when we were at the park. We’re back at the hotel now.”
“I knew this would happen! Your father owes me ten dollars. So what does this mean?”
“Nothing? We haven’t talked about it. I stopped it.”
“Why?!”
“I don’t know, Mom.” I sigh. “After everything with Randal, I want to be single for awhile. Be alone. Really sort myself out, you know?”
“Well, that’s just plain stupid.”
I blink. “What?”
“You know why Dad and I gave you so much free rein when you were younger? Because you always knew who you were. You have a good head on your shoulders, mija. You mediated Carmen and Alicia’s fights, and acted as a sounding board for your brothers. You are plenty ‘sorted out’ just as you are. You are perfectly perfect.”
A lump is forming in my throat. “Mo—”
“You and Randal broke up six months ago, yes? And I could tell that breakup was coming for awhile.” She tuts. “I understand that you want to be single, and I’m so supportive of you if that’s what your heart wants and needs right now. But I also want you to be sure that you’re not running away or ignoring your feelings out of fear.”
Her words sting as they hit home. “It just hurt so much when he left… I don’t ever want to feel that way again.”
“There’s no way to guarantee that you’ll never get hurt, mija. But you can’t live your life on the sidelines, one foot out of everything you do because you’re scared. Love and life are messy, and feelings get hurt. You have to find a way to forgive and move on.”
“I have forgiven him, Mom. But that doesn’t mean I can forget.”
“No one is telling you to forget anything. I’m just saying that you have to keep going. Because when the stars align and things go right… whew. Love is always worth fighting for. My advice is simply not to run away from someone who’s showing you his whole heart.”
At that moment, there’s a knock at the adjoining door.
“I have to go,” I whisper into the phone. “Love you, Mom.”
We hang up and I rise to a stand. Take a moment to collect myself before opening the door to Ethan.
He gives me a small, tentative smile. “Can I come in?”
I gesture for him to come through, and he sits on the edge of my bed. It’s almost comical how large he seems in here. He takes up all the space, sucks everything towards him like he has his own energy field.
I sit on the other corner of the bed, slightly out of reach of him.
He rubs his jaw, his brows drawn together. “I wanted to say again that I didn’t mean for that to happen earlier. Kissing you. I mean, I wanted it to happen, but not like that.”
I fiddle with the bedspread. “It’s okay.”
“No, I get where you were coming from, Val, and I get why you stopped it. It’s been a lot these past few days. You need to trust me again. I want you to trust me again.”
I take a breath, exhale. “This isn’t all on you, Ethan. I wanted to kiss you, too.”
He glances my way, and his brown eyes are so vulnerable and sweet that my heart somersaults. “Really?”
