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“Good.” It sounds like Dani’s drinking something. “Sorry. Eric and I are eating late.”
“No problem.” I wonder why she didn’t just wait to call me, and I hold my breath, assuming she’s about to suggest going somewhere. On a double date.
“So.” She clears her throat. I bite my tongue. I’m not remotely interested in going out with Jerad. But I don’t want to snap at my best friend, so I can at least wait her out and then say no. “Jerad’s in town. Eric and I wondered if you wanna go grab a drink with us. You’ll have a designated driver!” Before I can say no, that I’m home with Ryle, Dani continues, “If Truman’s parents can’t watch Ryle, my sister can.”
As much as I like Dani’s little sister, I shake my head even as she speaks.
“I can’t, Dani,” I say hoping I sound disappointed. “Truman’s here.”
“So, leave Ryle with him. That’s perfect!”
Leave it to Dani.
I tuck my chin to my chest and smooth my fingertips over my forehead. Even if I wanted to go out with Jerad, I would feel funny asking Truman to sit around here with Ryle while I was gone.
“No, it’s…um.” I shrug and look around the room desperately, grasping for something I can say that involves me and Truman needing to talk. “Ryle’s been playing some baseball. Truman and I are talking about getting him on Ethan’s team. Kind of complicated since the season’s already started.”
I have no idea if that’s true, but it sounds reasonable. And Dani wouldn’t have any way of knowing if I’m making it up.
“Oh.” She sighs, clearly bummed that I won’t join them. “Okay. Ryle’s liking baseball, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“Told you Eric said he’s got a homerun swing,” Dani reminds me. I do remember her saying that now that she’s brought it up. Eric and Ryle play baseball and football in their backyard. He’s never told me I have a future quarterback on my hands, but Ryle has impressed him with baseball.
For a second, I feel guilty for not paying attention to that. If Ryle had told me he wanted to play, I would have signed him up immediately. Why didn’t I pay more attention? I could have asked my son if he wanted to play baseball with Ethan. Maybe Truman should have signed him up, but then, Truman’s not around as much as I am.
“You did say that,” I agree with Dani.
“Okay, hope you guys get him on a team!” Dani sounds excited again. “We’ll be at every game.”
When I hang up, the house is quiet. I sit for a second, a little bit sad about the things my little boy has missed. Signing up for baseball is the least of it. My little boy’s never been tucked in by his mommy and daddy on the same night. My little boy’s never jumped into bed in the middle of the night with both parents after a bad dream. Ryle’s never had chocolate chip pancakes with his mom and dad for breakfast.
Maybe none of that’s ever crossed Ryle’s mind. Maybe I’m projecting. But when Ryle’s only six, and he doesn’t ever have much to say, it’s hard to know what he’s thinking.
“You okay?”
Truman’s voice from somewhere behind me startles me. I catch my breath, but I manage to hold my body still.
“Yeah.” I stand and turn to look at Truman with a nod.
“Did I just hear you use me being here as an excuse not to go out with someone?”
The tiny grin on his face is priceless, the dimple on his chin precious. I used to kiss that grin and dimple and face, and I have to remind myself again that I don’t do that anymore. I can’t do it anymore.
7
Truman
“Um.” Jules stares at me with wide eyes, all innocence, but her lips twitch as I watch her, and finally, she laughs softly. “Maybe.”
“’kay.” I nod and shove my hands in my pockets, feeling awkward. I haven’t been in Julie’s space like this in years. “Ryle’s out of the shower and in his pjs.”
“Good.” She offers me a sweet smile, but she’s still a little embarrassed that I caught her using me to get out of a date. She tucks her chin to her chest and slips around me, presumably to tuck Ryle in. “I’ll be right back.”
When she looks back at me over her shoulder, I shrug and then nod, because if she said that, it seems like maybe she wants me to wait for her and not leave. Ryle decided when he was five that he wanted to take showers rather than baths. I suspect Julie still monitors the showers to make sure he’s washing everything and not lounging or playing. I did the same, although mostly I just stood with my butt against the sink and talked to him while he did the work. I could smell the baby shampoo and soap Julie still buys for him, so I know he was washing something.
He did peek out at me with his head covered in suds at one point, so I took that as a good sign.
