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“Is that any way to talk to me? I thought I taught you better,” he barks.
I just breathe and wait for him to tell me what he wants.
“I need you to come over and mow my yard before it’s too cold. It looks like shit, and I’m too busy.” Right, too busy destroying your liver.
“Fine, I can be there in like an hour.”
“No, little fucker, you’ll come over right now.”
I grit my teeth. “Dad, I’m literally naked at the gym. I will be there when I can or not at all.”
He huffs out a breath because he knows I’m not going to budge. I haven’t budged since I was sixteen and could start hitting back.
“Fine. Whatever.”
He hangs up, and I’m grateful he ended the call first. Surprisingly, it didn’t go as badly as I thought it would. I wish I could get the mower out and quickly get his yard done, but I know it won’t be that easy.
I finish getting dressed and stop to get some breakfast at the cafe before I head over. I know I won't be hungry after I see my dad. The stomach-turning interactions don’t typically lead to an interest in food.
With a pastry in hand and a cup of coffee at my lips, I’m feeling refreshed and ready for battle. I wish this wasn’t my relationship with him, but it's of his own making.
I remember when I was little, he and I would go fishing together or get Mom breakfast on Sunday mornings. It was like he was a different person.
Then when Mom left, everything changed. Despite how much they fought, my dad must've loved her because he changed overnight. Suddenly I was living with an asshole who hated me with every breath he took.
I think he blamed me for Mom leaving, but I never knew why. Maybe having a kid was hard on her or something, but honestly, I think she was just not cut out to be a wife and mother.
But whatever. It’s over now, and while my dad can be as shitty as he wants to me, I have the power. He doesn’t control my life anymore. At least not completely.
I’m obviously still at his beck and call to some degree, which blows, but Uncle Jack was right. He's the only dad I have?although my aunt and uncle were more like parents to me than my actual parents.
I pull into my dad's cracked driveway and turn off my truck. The trailer looks like it's in shambles, and the yard is way past overgrown. It’s amazing what alcohol can make you overlook.
As much as I would like to just go get the mower and get started, I know I need to go inside and talk to him first. Avoiding the confrontation will only make it worse.
I walk up his steps, the air cool but not quite freezing, and open the front door of his trailer. This isn’t where I grew up, even after Mom left. Dad usually ends up having to move when the landlord realizes he won’t pay his rent regularly and threatens to evict him.
I don’t help him move anymore, even though he tries to guilt me into it. The guilt trips used to work on me. I’d do anything he asked, but I finally wised up after I got promoted to captain. I no longer feel like I owe him anything, which has taken a huge weight off of my shoulders.
I walk through the front door but don’t immediately see him. “Dad?”
“Hang on!” he yells from his bedroom.
I sigh and sit down at his kitchen table. The inside of his house isn’t any better than the outside. Furniture older than me sags in the living room, the kitchen and countertops are filled with grime and dirty dishes. I don’t even want to know what else is over there. It’s disgusting.
My dad comes walking out of his bedroom. His shirt is holey, and he looks like he hasn’t showered in several days. It’s a sad life he lives now.
“Good of you to finally show up.” His voice is gravelly and full of disdain.
“So, you need the yard mowed?” I ask, ignoring his comment.
“Yeah. And the shed could use a little help too. I think it’s got a leak or something.”
“I don’t have the stuff to fix the shed right now, but I might be able to come back and fix it some other time.” The shed has been leaking and falling down since he started renting this place. I’m not going to fix it.
“Useless, I swear,” he grumbles.
“Okay, I’m going to head back and get the mower,” I say, standing in an attempt to end the conversation.
