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“You two are ridiculous. Let’s not talk about Ben’s sexual prowess. How about you help me decide what to do about the fact that he went to meet Rebecca behind my back.”
Natalie’s nose turns up at that. “The she-devil deserves to have all of her eyebrow hairs plucked out.”
“Interesting choice, Nat.” I laugh.
“Well, she needs to be punished but not, like, harmfully… You know what I mean.” Natalie waves her hand in the air.
“What’s the actual issue here?” Mom asks, focusing our attention back on the problem.
Is it even a problem? My brain says it is, but my heart says I need to move on. He’s been so great these past couple of weeks, doing everything he can to help me heal. It’s made me feel crazy for still being upset about this. My uncertainty has created some strain between us that was never there before. It’s another reason why I didn’t want to go to Greensboro with him. I needed some time away to figure out if I’m being petty or if there’s genuinely an issue here.
“I just…I don’t know. Why wouldn’t he tell me he was going to meet her?”
“If I had to guess, he probably thought he was protecting you from stressing out. And while I know it was stupid, can you understand why he would want to protect you?”
“Maybe…” I say sullenly. “Doesn’t really make me feel better about it, though.”
“No, it doesn’t,” Mom concedes. “Let me give you a bit of advice. Men are idiots. They don’t always use their common sense the same way women do, so there are going to be many times where you’ll want to wring his neck for some of the stupid stuff he’ll do.”
“Amen,” Natalie says, raising her mimosa in the air.
“But the important thing here is to communicate when something he does pisses you off. Because the other thing men are not are mind readers. And don’t forget, you’re going to do things to piss him off just the same. The only way you’ll make this relationship work is by telling each other what’s going on. Which means you also need to be open with him about your struggles when you’re not feeling yourself.”
“We’ve already had that conversation,” I tell Mom. “I’m not good at having the spotlight on me; it’s easier to just figure it out on my own. But Ben brought it to my attention that I was actually making things worse.”
“Good. Sounds like you two are already on the right track.” Mom nods her head, leaning back in her chair.
“So, am I’m being irrational by being angry he met with her?” I ask. I don’t really like that idea.
“Absolutely not,” Nat starts. “All your mom is saying is to make sure you talk it out with him. You have a right to be angry, but holding on to it and letting it fester isn’t going to get you anywhere.”
I wince. That’s exactly what I’ve been doing. “I’ve got a long way to go before I’m any good at this relationship stuff.”
“You’ll be just fine. If I can make a relationship work with how sassy I am, you definitely can.” Natalie grins at me while Mom laughs.
“How about another round, Nat?” I ask, incredibly grateful to have her as my best friend.
“On it.” She gets off the couch while Mom and I keep up a steady stream of chatter.
After talking with my mom and Natalie, I’m ready for Ben to be home. I want us to finally be settled, to be on a path moving forward instead of stuck in this holding pattern we’ve been in since Gabe tried to kidnap me the first time. In order to do that, I’m going to have to open myself fully to Ben.
I think I’m finally ready.
* * *
Keys unlockingthe front door alert the dogs to Ben coming home. They scramble toward the door, ready to greet him as if he’s been gone for a week. He comes inside, bags weighing him down.
“Did you bring home all of Greensboro?” I ask him, grinning as he tries to say hello to three dogs who each want his utmost attention.
“It feels like it,” Ben says, finally giving up on the dogs and walking toward my spot on the couch. He places his hands on the back of the sofa, trapping me between his arms. “Hi.” He bends down, giving me a long, slow kiss. He’s been so gentle with me since the attack, and while I have enjoyed this side of him, I’m ready for things to go back to the way they were. To when he was my dominant, passionate guy.
Mom’s words remind me that, in order to get there, I have to be open with him about all the things that have been bothering me recently. He isn’t a mind reader, and I can’t expect him to know how I feel if I don’t tell him.
“Hi.” I smile when he finally pulls away from me.
“How are you?” Ben sits down next to me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.
“Ready to talk.”
