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Chapter Thirteen
Evelina knew she was in danger.
Not because of the guards. Not because of Matilda potentially coming to check on her in the middle of the night, and finding her bed empty. Not because of her father’s threats, or Jerome’s continued presence, or any other negative thread that had recently influenced her waking life.
No, Evelina was in danger because of Thomas.
As they crept silently through the garden toward the gazebo, surrounded by thick foliage and the heavy aroma of late-season flowers, tingles of intense pleasure-pain crested over every inch of her skin. The places where her body had been pressed against Thomas’ mere moments before felt as though they were on fire. On top of it all, Evelina felt a gaping hollowness inside, a desire to be held once more. Claimed, even.
She wanted to forget about all this confusion and nonsense between their parents and plead for Thomas to take her in his arms again, to demand that he never let her go. She wanted to know what he tasted like…how his hands, so warm and smooth as they cradled her own, might feel slipping the thin sleeves of her dress from her shoulders…the way his thumbs would trace, delicately, over her collar bones…the way they would circle over her skin, working their way under the collar of her gown…trailing downward, and downward still, until—
Evelina squeezed her eyes closed and shuddered. How could she allow herself to think such wanton thoughts?
“This is the gazebo you were speaking of?” Thomas asked quietly beside her.
Evelina nearly jumped out of her skin. She had to remind herself that her thoughts, wanton or not, were her own. Thomas could not hear.
“Yes,” she managed, and led him into the dark privacy of the gazebo.
They sat beside one another on the white, wooden bench that wrapped around the structure’s walls. It was almost pitch black in here, with only the faintest slivers of moonlight shining in through the gaps in the heavy vines that had braided through the decorative cross-pattern of the wood.
It was easy for Evelina to imagine they had been swept off together into the land of the fairies, just like in the storybooks her governess had read to her when she was a young girl, when such fantasies still felt like true possibilities. How many times had she and Diana played under the cover of this very gazebo, pretending they had been spirited off into some unknown, fantastical land? Diana had always been enamored with the thought of meeting some otherworldly prince, even as a young girl.
Evelina, oppositely, had been enthralled by the adventure of it, the fantasy of having a viable excuse for leaving behind all the pressures that befell her as a female of high breeding in London’s society.
“You seem very deep in thought,” Thomas noted softly. While they shared a bench, he had graciously taken care to leave a respectable amount of distance between them, perhaps as a sort of apology for the contact they had shared pressed together against the fence line.
Evelina made a conscious effort to force thoughts of continued contact with Thomas from her head. As much as she might fantasize about him taking her in his arms, here and now, regardless of the consequences, it wasn’t truly what she wanted. Especially given that one of the main reasons she was so captivated by Thomas to begin with was the respect he’d shown for her intellect and value as an individual, as opposed to her beauty alone.
“I am admittedly under a fair deal of stress,” Evelina answered honestly. “As I said in my letter, Father has forbidden me from seeing you.”
Thomas smiled sadly at the reminder, but there was a note of mirth in his eyes as well. “I am not surprised to find that you are the sort of person who does not do exactly as they’re told.”
“You’re correct in your assumption.” Evelina’s shoulders slumped slightly. “Though I will admit, there have been many times in my life where it would have been much easier simply to go along with what others suggest is in my best interest.”
Thomas’ brow furrowed, but he didn’t press further. Evelina was glad. She was in enough emotional upheaval as it was.
“What, may I ask, is your Father’s precise reasoning for why we are not a good match?” he asked.
Evelina straightened her posture. “It’s difficult to explain, exactly. And it has more to do with the late Duke of Elvington than yourself, though apparently that makes little difference to my own Father.”
“He’s the sort who believes one bad apple guarantees the whole bunch is spoiled?”
“Yes…” Evelina hesitated, wondering if that was exactly correct, “well, traditionally, no. He’s always been the sort of man inclined to give others the benefit of the doubt. I’m uncertain if this altercation with the late Duke of Elvington was simply that traumatic for him, or if he has become so stressed over his advancing age and declining health, his reason is beginning leaving him.”
She made herself quit speaking, instantly mortified. How could she have discussed these fears so openly? She’d hardly managed to admit them to herself. Now she was blurting out such intensely private information to a man she’d had only two conversations with?
That’s not entirely true. Thomas is more than just any man. Though my feelings for himaredangerous, in more ways than one.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Thomas gravely. “I was not present when my own father passed away, and while it is a different situation, I’m sure watching a loved one enter advanced age is a difficult process.”
“Yes…” Evelina shook off her darkening thoughts. “Regardless of what is, in my opinion, an unwarranted overreaction, my father’s primary reasoning for our separation is that he believes the late Duke of Elvington double crossed him in a business deal.”
Thomas’ eyebrows shot up. “Myfather betrayedhim?”
“You’ve heard an alternate narrative?”
“From what my brother has told me, my understanding is that your father double crossed mine.”
